Monday, January 30, 2012

O What a Thought

O what a thought this is
To think you may never know
Just how deep your fingerprints
Have made a mark upon this soul
O what a thought this is
That you could go all your days and not see
That for many days on end
You were the world to me
O what a thought this is
That you were not truly blind
But in infinite compassion forged
You were silent when you saw my mind
O what a thought this is
That you could see farther than I
That you were silent so I could learn
To live my life free of this lie
O what a thought this is
That never shall I see your smile
Again as I did when the morning sun was young
How age wears down on man's miles
O what a thought this is
That the earth truly is bitter to taste
That all these songs and words were written
For a purpose and are not truly waste
O what a though this is
That I am still merely a man
And no matter my knowledge I cannot
See still the range of the ineffable plan

Sunday, January 29, 2012

The Pheonix Soars

Come now all of you
We can make it through this storm
We must press on we must
And no more look so forlorn
For the day is coming now
On wings that break all the rules
And when the yardstick shatters
We shall see the kings and fools
Come now all of you
We must press on to that coming dawn
We must make it we must
And no more bow to the scorn
For as morning breaks over the globe
And fills those dark pockets with gold
We shall fill saddness with joy
As youth take the place of bitter old
Come now all of you
We are almost at the end
The journey was far and upriver
Yet the greatest joy waits beyond the bend
And I know my heart shall heal once more
And I know my love is still ever yours
But night turns to day
And old turns to new
And I will always still love you
Even as I turn and set fire to that love
And as the flames rise to the sky
This sacrifice of our love to the Highest
So I set fire to the line between you and I
And I know that I shall burn as well
And rise as a pheonix from the flames
And soar higher than I have ever before
On the wings of flame you have given me
Come now all of you
Let us all rise on flamewings
Soar into the starlit morning
And break the clouds apart to find
That violet daybreak when all the world sings again


The Pheonic Weeps

O Salt
Thy name is known to me
For how else should I mark the hours
Then by thy constant fall
O Salt
Thou who preserve all of man
Now unto they everlasting memory
I commit this final after image
O Salt
Flow from my eyes as a font
And gather in the flats of my heart
Harden there to purest stone
O Salt
You have i tasted most of all
My only comfort when all else have gone
And I find myself alone once more
O Salt
You essence of my soul
Go now out into the wide world
And run among the streams of old
O Salt
And gather there with thine kinfolk true
In the cast seas of human heartache
And a thousand thousand joys
O Salt
You know me beyond any other
And I would recall you anon I fly
Burn brightest in this heart
O Salt
Forver you and that I long for are mine

Saturday, January 28, 2012

The Pheonix Stops to Think

These arms were once so weak
But now they have found something
So strong and so reassured
That no more will pain endure
Come now all these songs that sing
And the joyous noise we'll bring
For the arms that were broken
Were made anew again
But oh how bitter the news
That once we should have had
The song that would endure
But for the sake of all that longing
Still no answer would step forth
That at the end of days no passing
The sea would rise with forth
For skies now turning red
And the end of days draw neigh
So shall this horesman stand
And feed the flock anon he lights
Upon that steed that stand await
Pale as the morning mist it stands
And no more of mortal man's words
It harks but only the call of destiny
No more to stand in that dire place
Arms of compassion now hear
O arms turn your ear to me
The world is cursed and I stand
Alone at the heart of the maelstrome
I know the part I am to play
But abhorence is stil in my mind
I cannot turn to blood this day
Come oh sheep the harvest is neigh
Do you know the reason today you die?
A great cost it takes to bring what must come
I have felt the touch of destiny
And now I am undone
So shall I turn to fire
And when all has passed below and above
Let them say I did it for love

The Phoenix Born

Come now gentle flame
Here alight upon my breast
And take hold golden bright
Brother of my aching
Sister of my dispair
Can you tell my tale
Or shall you lie for me?
All can see now plain
Laid out here to see
The path that once was trod
The path that never sees
The light of day comes now
And my light with all these
For of the seven suns
That have basked since the night
Of the seven moons
Wrapped in silken delights
I have never known
A star more radiant
That shall I set my course
By this lode's demands
Or shall I turn once more
Upon this endless sea
Shall I yearn once more
Or shall I call for Thee
But where was love when all
The night was dark and cold
Where was love when I
Knew the taste of blood
No I shall stir again
Sleeping in the ice
I shall rise once more
And feast upon their eyes
So when the time has come
And where this river runs
No more to lie in state
No more their tongues to sate
I shall turn my back
And I shan't look aside
There where deeps things crawl
There I go to hide
But the world is an ever tomb
And no matter where I run
There is always the dancing still
Between the moon and sun
And so shall days now pass
And time so silent heals
But I shall turn my head
And find the secret wheels
That turn and grind their bones
And look beyond this scope
I shall rise for my own sake
No more this bitter trope
My heart anew to make
Over again to break
For my own sake

The Pheonix Stirs

Contain
And let all feelings wash away
Refrain
And don't let them see again
But no matter the pain
Or the times and trials ahead
I cannot simply become lame
I'd rather feel then be so dead
So I shall sing
And write the words I fear to say
I shall dream
The things I have lost in yesterday
And I shall take wing
No matter how dark it may seam
And no more to contain
No more to refrain
No I shall take flight
And I shall draw might
From the tears I have sown
And from the love I have known
And when the backs all have turned
And I my salt and dues have earned
I shall then spread my secret wings
For I am not all that I seem
And upon the wings of night take flight
And I shall rise up to glorious hights
And they shall look upon me
The one that they have scorned
And they shall know me
As the one they aught have adored
And I shall rise over their eyes
Full of scorn and compromise
And I shall search for the violet dawn
And let my art and my heart be reborn

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Us and me

I am outside myself
It is a part of the process
(And breathe)
I am without myself
Where I cannot see anymore
(Now begin)
I undo my self
Tearing into warmest flesh
(Clear)
I will consume myself
And leave an empty mirror
(Reset the metronome)
I float from myself
Tugging strings breaking my skin
(Refrain)
I can't believe myself
The song starts again
(Now think)
I slice in two myself
Two hearts, two minds apart
(And break)
I have destroyed myself
Too many pieces to put together again
(Again)

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

The Drop of Fire

A single drop of fire
Is all it took
It fell
So far
So deep
And burned
And kept burning
Burning and burning until
There was a sigh
And the smoke
Drew back
Like a curtain of vesper song
And there in the silence
Stood the penitent one
With eyes like the sea
And a voice that broke
My hardest heart
And so we turned
And had compassion
And the sand drew back from the sea
But the flames were alive with passion
And they burned with yearning for his blood
And I would have given their desire
Had I not also seen his eyes
And the depths there held
The oceans primordial
Brimming with life
And the ever deep echoes
In vast subterranean chambers
Where lone stone crumbles
Fell into abyssmal depths
And never knew the light again
And I feared to be a stone
Falling into those eyes
And the flames were held back
And their fury was great
For a flame cannot see
Into the eyes of a man
It is too hungry of a thing
It seeks only to sate it's desire
And so it leapt for at the man
The resplendid figure on the sand
And reached out for those fingers
It licked the salt from his hand
And drew back
And knew
And finally understood what was meant
When one sees the sea in a set of eyes
And begins to drown beyond belief
For those eyes were shut
Like the great curtains of Night herself
And the fire trembled
As a lone drop
Trickled from the delicate wave
Of small curling lashes
That seam of the sea
We call the strand
A single drop
Is all it took

The Willow and the Ivy Covered Oak

When the moon rose over the silver splashing stream that wound its way from deep within the viridian woods, there where the bend caused the water to overreach it's banks and spread like quicksilver between each blade of the verdant swath that spread from the breaks in the trees, the white light of the moon slid over the bark of two lonely trees that quivered in the naked light. One a tall and slender willow, with branches wide and leaves of silvergreen spearheads that slid and caressed across one another with the faintest of whisper in the windless night. The other an old white oak, gnarled and long dead that had found life again as the growth of ivy, greenest of green, had engulfed the dry wood with it's twisting form and rose as billowing clouds from pale twisting branches. And as the shadows deepened and danced across the bark, there was a strange tremble in the ancient wood as if a creaking and groaning and two doors long shut were finally moved on ancient arboreal hinges. And as the folds of the twisted willow bark were parted as curtains by fingers pale and ancient as the forests from within the deep darkest corners a face was seen, with eyes that glowed with faerie light. For of course this was no ordinary wood, and the stream that wound from deep within its bounds was enchanted and it's waters were what made the trees in the woods come alive and these two trees who stood at the bend where the enchanted river water splashed from the banks had drunk deeply of the river for a thousand years. So whenever the moon was full and the night was dark and even the wind fell under the spell of the soft light, then the trees would come alive unlike any other time. First the willow stirred under the light's soft touch, and leaving the dark folds of it ancient slumber, its pale wiry form pushed from within the warm enclosure of the outer bark. And as it's ivory skin glistened in the moonlight, while muscles taught and joints stiff from long slumber flexed, it ran its fingers through its leafy head and closed its eyes and yawned a drowzy yawn. And its soft gaze fell upon the old white oak which stood a ways away on the other side of the silver stream, that age old friend who grew with it. And as the bright silver eyes of the willow fell upon the oak, the green glowing eyes of the ivy wrapped oak looked back from within the shadows. The willow stepped upon the bright green grass, feeling the pulse of the silver stream's magic waters as they flowed through the course of its rootlike feet with the power of all creation. And the willow began to dance upon the silver water, calling the dainty balls of golden light, the fireflies woken from their slumber. And as the willow danced the wind began to stir with the faintest of music on the breeze. The long distant laughter of summers now passed and the golden warmth of lazy star scattered nights all reached their songs back to the place where the river bent and where the willow now danced upon the banks. The willow's song roused the ivy covered oak and in dusky tendrils of viridian it slipped from its slumber and stood in the shadows watching the willow. The green eyes glowed brightly as the twisted and gnarled form placed it's hand dark as a pine forest and veined with shadows upon its heart which had come alive at the willow's song. But before it could slip from its hiding place the river rose and trembled and quivered and strange shapes and ripples ran counter to the quicksilver current. And the willow retreated from the rising flood and climbed into the branches of the tree. And the figure in the shadows retreated to it's home as well and could only watch as the river rose more. For they knew not that far up high above the hill from where their river came, mankind had breached the safety of their enchanted woods. And they knew not that the men had built a dam there to hold back the river. And they knew not that those foolish men, not realizing that this was a wild river and one that could not be tamed, had been overcome by the forces of the river and the wood and the dam had been undone. But what they did see was the sudden rush of the silver stream growing and spreading and drowning those poor prickles of grass and touched the trees first the roots and then the trunks. Both figures climbed higher and green eyes met silver in return. But there was no way to cross the river and reach from one tree to the other. And still it rose higher and higher. The willow, it's branches low and stooping could climb no further and watched as the angry river rose and rose. But then from the shadows there was a crack and a groan of pain. And the willow watched in horror as the old oak fell sideways across the rushing torrents. And from the shadows of the ivy leaves a hurried whispered could barely be heard, telling the willow to get upon the oak and escape as soon as it could. And so the willow was saved and rode the old oak tree to the shallower part of the river and when it disembarked from that ark of salvation, it turned to the ivy in thanks. But the ivy was gone. For the old oak had not stood by its own volition for many years and the ivy had grown all about and around and even throughout it, keeping it up. And when the ivy had let the oak finally fall, it had pulled it out by it's very roots. But there at the base of the broken roots was one small curling vine of bright greenery mark with shadow. And the willow taking that last bit of life, walked into the darkness of forest, seeking another old oak that needed new life.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Colloquy of Thought

Said my Longing to my Soul
"Shall we walk upon the strand
And trace each every inlet
Where the sea kisses the sand?"

Replied my Soul unto my Longing
"Sir, you have waited far too long
The hour comes of midnight's making
when our path may yet go wrong."

Scoffed my Longing at my Soul
"Why need we Day's harsh light
When other lamps can light our way
The stars that dance in glorious night?"

So bent my Soul unto my Longing
And rising from that cautious seat
Made their way along the shore
The sand still warm to their feet

Then said my Longing to my Soul
"While the day's warmth linger's yet
Let us wade out into the waters
To dance among the foaming wet."

Answered my Soul unto my Longing,
"Is the water here not deep?
And what strange currents
May yet sweep us from our feet?"

Smiled my Longing to my Soul,
"But we shall wade out not too far
And when the water touches knees
Safe we'll stand on that sand bar."

Said my Soul unto my Longing,
"To the sand bar but no one more step
For I know not these deep waters
Or past sorrows they have kept."

Whispered my Longing to my Soul,
"Past sorrows pass as a leaf in the stream
And even today's tragedy all too soon
Reclines inside and fades like a dream."

So headed my Soul the words of my Longing
And setting foot into the tumbling rush
They began their wade beneath the pale moon
No sound save for the Sea's gentle hush.

Said the Moon unto that Sea,
"What new tenant have you earned?
I saw two bathers enter your chambers
But lo, only one now has returned."

Answered the Sea unto that Moon,
"A few steps more, a splash and a bump
Longing may drown a man's Soul
And a little leaven leavens the whole lump."


Tulgian Sent

I release these dreams unto the night
Let them run, on wings of wind take flight
Let them gather unto those minds asleep
Let them bring the image to the places deep
For wrought with fire are these ancient devices
That run with desire according to my vices
And now when the boiling draws nigh to the faces
Let them in their beds of satin and laces
Be visited by the phatom of my derision
And taste of the river of my decisions
For as the ones speak now through vessel unbroken
Let them heed the fires that I have spoken
And walk in the wheel of the path I have shaped
And tast of the fruit of desire and hate
And with eyes now turning let hearts be in twain
Desiring all that this love has to gain
For selfish are hearts when caught in the fire
And blind are the eyes that drown in desire

Thursday, January 19, 2012

To the Handmaid of El-roi


" וַיִּשָּׂא־לֹ֣וט אֶת־עֵינָ֗יו וַיַּרְא֙ אֶת־כָּל־כִּכַּ֣ר הַיַּרְדֵּ֔ן כִּ֥י כֻלָּ֖הּ מַשְׁקֶ֑ה לִפְנֵ֣י ׀ שַׁחֵ֣ת יְהוָ֗ה אֶת־סְדֹם֙ וְאֶת־עֲמֹרָ֔ה כְּגַן־יְהוָה֙ כְּאֶ֣רֶץ מִצְרַ֔יִם בֹּאֲכָ֖ה צֹֽעַר׃"

Across the flat and endless parch
The salt pan stretched to infinite white
And the heat of day danced with Death
While my thirsty heart gasped for breath

Across the plains of death you walked
Barefeet never feeling the kiss of heat
Your robe of crimson caressed by gold
The image of a river in a land of cold

Across your face the ashes blew fire
The hair in your shawl together billowed sail-like
And those eyes that watched my creation's first step
Those eyes now saw me and such tears they wept

Across your face fell the antediluvian rains
And collected in the cup of such deep fingers
And kneeling as a penitent before this huddled man
You planted those tears in the cracking sand

Across the firmament the lightning crackled
And heaven was defenestrated by the seed in the sand
The tendril of viridian sprang from your sigh
And raised first-leaves prayer-like to the weeping sky

Across the flat and endless parch fell your rain
And ran together and crashed together and roared
Your song gurgled from depths, like a fountain sprang
And your river brought life wherever it ran

Across the space between the two there reached
A hand holding something more dear than water or life
Your fingers unfolded to reveal the heaviest thing of all
A kindness offered in answer to suffering's call.

"And he looked out towards Zoar, over the whole
of the plains of Jordan.
And he saw that it was watered well
and like the Eden..."
Gen.13.10





Monday, January 16, 2012

Good/Bad/Love/Hope

You are so good
Much too good
And I am so bad
Just a bit too much
And so as opposites slide
So of course you'd have my love
And of course I can never have yours
For this is how the world deals with us
The star cross'd lovers, or just lover in this case
But I cannot let myself believe
I cannot think it may be true
That all this love I feel
Is simply wasted on you
That you cannot feel it
You cannot see it
You do not know
Not even a bit
So I shall hold on to hope
Not the hope of your love's return
But I shall hold on to hope that just maybe
Maybe you know how my heart bleeds for you
Maybe you know what pain I feel when I hear your name
And that will be enough for me
No word or act in return
Nothing at all from you
Just the hope that you know
That I am not abandoned
Or forgotten
That is all
All I can hope for now
Because I am so very good
Good at hoping at the thing lost
So I shall be good at hoping
And you can be good at being so good
And when you smile at me so sweetly
I'll pretend that the smile is for me
Because I can't do anything else
Because I am so bad
and you are so good

Trepidation

My love
How long since I have whispered your name to silence of night's ebony wings
And yet even now
Your name recalls to me all those joyful, wonderful, magical memories
But on swift feet
Here come the cool sliding memory, our last memory, when you weren't there
And I waited for you
And you did not come even though you said you'd come and I was all alone
And now you're here
And you have that look in your eyes again that would melt my heart
And then break it again
You ought to know more about human hearts then this, we are too easily broke
So now you've come
And as we lay here in the silence of night's warm embrace
I will try not to cry
We won't say anything, do anything, just you and I lying here
And we won't move
Because deep down we both know it won't do either of us any good anymore
We will stay here
And let the dust of ages collect like a blanket to sooth our slumber
And I will try not to die
But I can make no promises, my love, I cannot make them as easy as you
And maybe I will die lying here
But at least this way I know that if I die here I will die with you by my side
And afterward?
That is no longer up to me is it? Your hands. Your choice. Your move.
Your love.

Friday, January 13, 2012

A Wretched Poem Poorly Done

Torpid fumes about me bask
And I shall suffer these wiles no more
But while the tears fall in the ash
I look up and can only adore
This lone bird flying so high
Above these dark clouds that make my tomb
A single dove against blue sky
Here now, but gone too soon
This is that same one
Whose form wrought like the ivory moon
For this one I would come
And follow if it didn't leave so soon
But my fingers are just too short
And my hands are bound by my own rope
So I shall reach for despair and mort
I can reach them, but never that hope

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Illuminate

And then like a beacon upon the storm dark seas
I saw you
And I knew that you were my only salvation
From dark and lonely nights spent in the cold

And then like a bright shinning star above the clouds
I knew you
To be the one who would walk before me
Always leading me onward to the violent dawn

And then like the dancing northern lights above
I had you
And I knew the brightest flame holds no heat
And the sun can slumber in shades so cool


Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Lambing the Muse

A hard mistress is my muse
This poor poet so to abuse
For no sleep shall she grant
Until word more utter I can't
So now in gross poetic line
I shall recall the ivy and vine
And upon god of grape and desire
I shall offer this sacred fire
That mayhap they shall can see
What image has now come to me
That day when Pan did see there
Upon the hilltop green, the fair
One, keeper of his ancient heart
And turner of his nature's art
The one which in poetic code
shall be called Lamb, as innocence bode
For like a lamb Pam's lover was tame
And knew not the rules of love's game
And trusted heart unto one so dark
The one with the most evil heart
But anon he would take hold of prize
Pan glanced into those gorgeous eyes
And realized no matter he lust much
This pure beauty he could not touch
He hid his face in utter shame
And he threw away his form and name
And took upon him a more humble form
And would no more the laurel adorn
But as a goat he wandered the fields
Where golden Demeter her scepter wields
And as he journeyed to distant parts
The lamb he always kept within his heart
In the hopes that they could still be friends
In the hopes they would someday meet again

Texting in Dreams

Another night when words are sweet
Another night I wish to keep
When under Bacchian spell
I text you and wish you well
For as Night draws its deep blue shade
I messaged you, sweet dreams I bade
And when you responded swiftly
I believed you too loved me
But these are the wishes of the night
When wine makes the eyes shine bright
And when come the morning's face
The truth once more I will embrace
That these things are phantom dreams
That your love is not what it seems
And that if I were to place my heart in your hand
You wouldn't even begin to understand
So while the joy engulfs me in falsehood's embrace
I will merely dream of your face

Yon Wicked Goat

Said the goat unto the lamb
"Let us go a bit along
this dusty road ahead of us
To the fountain far beyond."

Answered the lamb unto the goat
"The font you speak of I know well
Tis not a place you would call pleasant
Tis not the place many lambs dwell."

"Come with me." Spoke the goat
"There is no need to be afraid.
For the path is just right here.
And by sweet songs we are bade."

"I do not know," whispered the lamb
"I am not sure of this new path
for I have heard unpleasant reports
Of all on it journeyed hath."


"Come soon," breathed the goat
"This path has been trod by all
There is not so much danger here
See, no true ravine into which to fall."

But still linger did the lamb
Peering down the road so dark
And even hearing such soft music
The goat's word it would not hark.

But the goat knew what the lamb did not
That the path was enchanted made
And that soon the rising ridge would
Push the lamb where the goat had bade.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Silly Little Scribble

I'll scribble one more verse
For all caught by love's curse
Since tonight you grant no sleep
And my heart its vigil keeps
While the lily lies in sweet repose
You waken my muse to compose
And while my broken arms ache
Still you smile on my memory breaks
Like the ocean crashes on the sand
I close my eyes and recall your hand
I feel it now here in the night
Were feelings able to bring sight
The sweet smell upon your lips
The way they curve as your smile dips
But soft! The spell is spent!
And the love was only lent
Now as a phantom you dissipate
Before the words that came too late
I longed to whisper in your ear
But now you've gone and disappeared
And so I shant write more tonight
I shall put out my little light
And if the gods and my muse be true
Grant they that I dream of you

Monday, January 9, 2012

Lacewing Paper

The air grows so thin
Like lacewing paper spread over us
And as I reach towards you
I am afraid I'll tear it
So I push
Push as hard as I can
Strain against the paper
Just a bit harder then before
I write my name on the paper
And yours next to mine
I use what I can
My tears
My blood
What ever will hold the hardest letters
I hope that if I do this
Leave an imprint of my soul
That maybe you'll see it
With your eyes glued shut
Or maybe you won't
But at the very least
These demons that push my soul
That push my heart to bleed
To bleed at the thought of you
They will no longer be inside me
Consuming me
I trap them in the paper with words
And I can't help feeling
That I trap a part of my heart there too
You won't see it
You can't
I understand
But I can't keep this any longer
Lacewing paper is fine
Is thin
But still not thin enough
It suffocates my soul
And as much as I want you
I also want to be able
Able to breathe again
And it's not fair of me
To smother you with all my affection
I can't keep you mine
Not with all the lacewing paper
All the lacewing paper in the world

Sunday, January 8, 2012

What Wrote Ophelia There

You could have it all
Anything you want
The world rises up in the morning
Rises up to greet your face
And offers you all the sweetness
That it denies me this day
You can have everything
Everything you've dreamed
They bloom before your eyes
And gild the curves of your smiles
As it has gilt my tears tonight
You can choose anything
Anyone, all long for you
You have the soul like a lodestone
All hearts turn towards you
And my greatest pain is your blindness
To the loves that you could have
For each day the world offers all
And each day you still look small
In your own eyes
And each day they offer their love
And each day you shrug it off
Believing none can love you
So here I stand and sway
Caught between antipodes of dread
Either, you know not your worth
Reject all their loves
And mine with them
Or else
I pry open your eyes
And you see my heart
And seeing mine see theirs as well
And realize
That you could have anyone at all
So why would you ever choose me
I sway and linger on this thread
I weave these thoughts around my head
And plummet into the growing dread
Your heart could give me everything

Arthur's Tears

What words are left
You have broken me utterly
The way the sun caught your smile
And it reminded me of once
When that smile could have been
Could have been
For me
You walked like the sun
So surely and so true
As if your course was unchanging
Empyrean and set
And I would be the dog
Your spaniel, Demetrius
Following always in your wake
Again I dare to glance
To glance at you for second
And all I see is the gentle wave
Of the ocean curling to meet the shore
It's been caught in your hair
Those chocolate waves
Veined with purest gold
How I wish to draw near again
To breathe in again
To smell your hair once more
As I did so many times
While you slept soundly in the sun
You are slowly seeping like the dawn
Coloring my world that was grey for so long
Trying to fight your way once more
To the place you held before
When you were my sun
My centre, my soul
O I cannot let it
I tell myself I cannot let you
I must restrain myself
I must contain myself
I cannot let love sprout again
Not when
When you tore my still beating heart
Out of the chest and left naught but night
You have no idea
Not the slightest clue
How far your fingers reach
You choose over and over again
As if I don't exist
And just as I am ready
Set to give you up
Then you turn that face
As pale as the moon
With a blush of your drink
Breathing on your cheeks
Those lovely cheeks
Whose circles I've traced
Time and time again
Mapping all for my memory
As if I knew this day would come
Again
Just then
When I would let you go
And say it is better for you to go
Then you turn and smile my way
A word of affection so long sought
A King is not supposed to cry
And yet your beauty draws tears
From my soul
My longing for you, my love
Consumes my heart and mind
And turns all to fountains and springs
That drain from my eyes as the rivers
The rivers of desire and heartbreak
That pool into the ocean of my pillow
Again
You wipe the tear from my cheek
And trace it with your smooth thumb
And suddenly we're right back where we started
What words are left
You have broken me utterly

Guinivere's Response

Tonight the shadows grow so deep
The air draws chill in my stoney keep
And I know that it is true

You've come and gone another day
You're out there and you did not stay
And I know that it is true

You said you loved me as a friend
Those words of hope that also rend
And I know that it is true

Are you friend who desire's lover
Or are you lover caught as a brother
I know not which is true

But on nights like this when my eyes shine
When my hand reaches for more wine
I know that it must be true

That the only time I have ever felt love
Was waking with your face above
And I know it can be true

That maybe your heart is the same as mine
And maybe all we need is a bit more time
Maybe it could be true

So I'll endure one more cold lonely night
For you, my ever constant knight
And I too shall remain true

True enough to you

Lancelot's Abhorence

My heart is amazed
by the horror of
you.

Those eyes so bleary
Unfocused and teary
That shimmer with lights foreign
to you.

I would swim in those seas
I would if they would
but look at me as I haved longed
at you.

But you chased so many
Around the merry go round
And circle tables set for all
but you.

And when my heart is at the breaking
the point of life and love's unmaking
Then I will steal to the place I slumbered
with you.

And there hidden by crevician art
that tender cloth you kept so near your heart
I will bring it to wipe my tears as I think
of you.

Be near me tonight, my sweetest desire
Even if only you walk in my dreams
And let me never dream again unless it be
of you.

My soul abhores this lonesome state
It knows limbo when it's taste'd.
And so it looks on me with shame
for you.

And so tonight I am amazed by you
My soul's abhorent praise to you
And I just can't stop my muse, it's true
From burning my heart with longing for you.

Friday, January 6, 2012

another

another lonely night
another lonely year
would i give it all away
just to have your ear

i sit here trying hard
to have patience again
another lonely how
another lonely when

i sit and try to smile
i die slowly inside
another birthday come
another part has died

i try not to care
i try not to die
i want to stop trying
i want to ask why

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Soft Acoustic Sunset

Come and walk with me
By the old oak tree
Just sit here quietly
And listen to the world grow old

No its not about love today
No its not about all that jazz
Today is a day for you and me
And everyone else as well

Lets sit and listen to the world grow bright
And sepia seep into the cracks
And we'll bask in the glow
Of the warmth as day becomes night
And we won't even care at all

Because once night comes dancing on
We know the stars will be warm this time
Yes because we know the grass is warm
And we'll lie there watching fireflies

While slow, soft night music
And an old acoustic guitar
Drift and drone lazily by
And as our eyes grow heavier

And the sweetest slumber wraps its arms
Around us like the soft glow of 4th of July fireworks
We can now finally take a breath
And taste the dew forming on our tongues

And laugh until the sun peaks through
And laugh and shake our manes
Scatter dew drops in the morning light
And run back to be home in time for breakfast