Friday, February 22, 2013

What Time Is This

What time is it?
Time to run out and find the second hands 
Does it even matter that we are waking a line 
Counting down on a timer
If only I was talking about life and not something so much more painful 
Because annuals bloom annually
And taxes ruin each April flower
While the grains of sand keep dancing down 
And some things die too quickly now
What year is it? 
It feels like its been 1969 for far too long 
And the new moon is beginning to get kinda old
This feeling isn't really mine 
I and you, we are not really in time
Fallen through the cracks we dance in the starry space 
Between seconds and years and inches and lightyears
We sing in the silence and think not of tomorrow 
Because when we crash through the ceiling again 
And fall into the floor
Fall in time again 
We will feel it again 
The ticking time bomb that is the clock
But for now we will not worry
About what tomorrow will bring 
We will let tomorrow worry about itself 
Just stay here in this moment 

Viagra; or the quest to be apart, a person

Viagra; or the quest to be apart, a person 

It would be so easy to let you define me
To give you the power
To become everything I fear and loath
It would be so easy
To look on the brief note that is you
And call it a major plot point of my life 

But you are really nothing
I had just barely learned your name 
And even though I didn't love you 
I couldn't spend the whole night

It would be easy for me to ignore you
To give you that power
To haunt my every intimate thought
It would be easy for me to forget you
To say you touched me as much 
Or nearly as much as I pressed over you 

But I have never been one 
To take the easiest path I see
So know none of this will happen 
Though I will let this change me 

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Talk That Talks

He said
What is this mouth you chose to wear today
These lips curve towards the grave
And those teeth were not as sharp before
Whose mouth are you wearing my dear?
And why 
Why can't your lips be consistent 
Consisting of either poison or ambrosia 
Or at the very least salt water for my voyage 
Gushing forth and frothing from between your teeth
Sailing down to the underworld on your current 
No need for some paltry guiding star 
When the raging roller coaster is in control
But I'd rather have your fluctuating venom
Or just your constant bile
Than to see you lock your lips 
And do nothing but smile 
So I guess I'm "whipped" and you are free
To walk where you want and have your way with me
And know there won't be any word of objection 
Because I guess I won't say this to you and we won't have this talk
As harmony kills honesty 
As security leads the dance with what is genuine 

In Loco Scriptorus

It is dynamic
Free flowing
All falling 
It is the rabbit hole
And it and I and we 
All of my children 
Scribbled in moments of ecstasy 
We are tumbling in an inverted tornado
We live in the perpetual mealstrome
At the bottom of the bathtub 
After the plug has been pulled 
Racing towards uncertainty 
There is no floor at the bottom 
Until you hit it 
So this is a time for inventory taking 
For hard decision making 
And the telling of untruths 
This is the time to look with perfect vision
While becoming deaf to their derision 
And the timing of things still undone 
The time to ask what would I do 
What would I be 
And be willing to give up 
In place of these jumbles of words in the air 
In place of the unborn children of my mind 
Trapped forever in the ether of my imaginings 
A weighty conscience for me then forever
While hurtling onward towards that certain uncertainty 
The ground will be there exactly when it means to be 

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Apropos Cafe

Oh
It's you again 
I'm sorry
I didn't realize you'd be here 
I mean you can stay if you want
It doesn't matter either way, I guess
You have every right to be here
I guess, I just wasn't expecting you

It's like I said before
I won't fight you
Even if I've spoken ill of you
I won't ignore you
Even when you decide to stop ignoring me

No there isn't someone else 
Just me by myself
Have you been as lonely as me?
No, that's never really been a problem for you
Maybe that's why it's so hard for you to understand 
To understand why

But it's like I said 
I still can't trust you
Even when I'm trusting you to break your word
I still might love you
Even if you decide to love me again 

It's you again
I guess I still don't expect you
But maybe it still doesn't matter anyway
I'm sorry you felt
That you had to die
And I'm sorry that you thought that was the best way to show me
To show me that you thought you loved me
I'm sorry it's You again 

Declination

The "I" goes with the "me"
As "u" can clearly "c"
If you just turn your gaze
To figure A.3
And while this line
Moves forever towards y
It will never quite touch
No matter how hard "u" try
And the chord skips notes
Because what you "c" will never "b"
And no matter how sharp
The "I" still won't go with the "oui"
So remember the "amas"
When found in your table
And know it cannot be "amamus"
Because the isotope is unstable
And the intersection of two lines
Is simply a point or a dot
Even though in pointillism
We learn that lines are not
The thing that connect
The conjunctions all three
Are "and" and "or"
But "but" is still between
Sometimes big words
Can be broken down into parts
Such as "un" and "necessary"
And "broken" and "hearts".


Class dismissed





Monday, February 11, 2013

Mishmash Battle Cry

After I left you tonight
I went back
To each place we were before
Retraced our steps
Where I held the door
Where you laughed at a joke
Where we both almost tripped
Where I gave you my coat 
And where we both just sat and cried 
I drove back past the mansion
But stopped in the cemetery
And thought the same thoughts
I had thought on my second time through it all
Here I could have said it
Or there started the talk
The words I'd like to think
Are burning a hole in my tongue
Except that's not really true
In fact if we were to talk now
I'm still not sure what I'd say
Or if I'm afraid of what you'd do
Or if I would even really mean
Half the things out of my mouth
If I would just lie to you
And in the end lie to myself
I said I'd see this through and I will
As far as I can go
A distant wall of fog clouds my mind
And the future goes only till so
So sail onward we shall on this voyage 
And hope daybreak and landfall is near
Hope no shoals or storms or hidden things
Hide in that mists just waiting
Hope in hope and that's just dandy
But a sailor needs more than a sentiment
So "Onward and inward!" become my battle cry
Let loose the colors and sound the drums
Onward and inward to the worlds end
Lets hope it's a circle with a gentle bend 

The State of Our Union

You're going too fast she says
Places her hand on the handle
And looks out the window

We are running too late 
He says and presses the pedal 
And checks the time again 

You're spending too much
She says as she shakes her head 
We need to make cuts again

And he folds his arms 
Times right now may be tough
But we need to invest in tomorrow 

There won't be one if we die tonight
She says and she wants to shiver 
You're just reckless and irresponsible 

And he does not answer but replies 
You are just so scared of the risk
You'd rather just stand still then go forward 

You're changing too much 
She says and she steps away 
Is tomorrow really worth throwing away yesterday? 

You're speaking of stagnation 
He also turns away from her
You're speaking of rotting and dying too

So shall we die slow then 
He asks and she replies 
So shall we die fast then 

Because its hard to see the other side
When you've stopped listening 
And then have stopped caring too 



Sunday, February 10, 2013

Worth It

Oh Darling Dear
Of course you love him
And of course he's worth it
If you decide he's worth it
And yes Dear Darling
They can think whatever they want
Of course you'll shrug your shoulders
And say its none of their business 
Because does it really matter 
If he sleeps with with those other boys
While you've been chased to the couch
Again 
He is worth it if you say so, of course
And he loves you even if he doesn't make love anymore
And of course it hurts you 
That's understandable my dear
And of course you don't care that he is with him tonight
But wouldn't it be nice if he'd stop in 
And at least kiss you goodnight
Like he used to
Yes he is worth it even when he's a jerk
And he's worth it even when he's drunk 
And tells you he secretly you're still the only girl for him 
And he's worth it when it's just the two of you
And you feel like things might go back 
To the way they used to be when it was only you and he
Of course he is worth it
Because you are not stupid 
My Darling Dear you are not
And you know exactly what is going on 
And you know exactly how bad it looks
And you know exactly how much they will all talk
Behind your back like the cowards they are 
And you are so very, very brave 
And you still love him even more than that
So when you say he is worth it 
Worth it all to you
I'll respect your decisions and know you're an adult
And you know better than anyone else
What is good and worth it to you
Especially much better then they do
So of course he is worth it
As long as you say so 
Until you stop saying so 
My Darling Friend
My Dear

Responsibility

Responsibility 
It's a part of me 
Engrained 
Injected
Enforced 
And Inscribed on my psyche 
These languid thoughts 
Of running or living 
Of flying and freeing
They are just thoughts 
Nothing more
They could never be more
Even though their active counterparts
Their reality is standing 
Just outside the door and I can feel it
The pulsating heartbeat of possibility
I could do what I said I would do
I could leave it all and pack up and go 
I could
But I won't
And you know that I won't 
Because these are the words 
Nothing but words
That give me the room
To just manage a breath 
In the raging mealstrome
Or more accurately 
A break from the rowing
The unending rowing 
In these eternal doldrums
A prayer for a breath
Just a gasp of wind
Let the sails fill for a second
Let there be movement and strength
But I cannot live there
I am too responsible 
To throw down my paddles
And let the sea carry them 
But the madness of these latitudes 
Is becoming kind of old 
And my pathetic platitudes 
Won't save our souls