Thursday, February 7, 2013


It starts
With something so small
Eyes meet
And the world is enwrapped in light
Or a word
Nothing grandiose or absurd
But a moment
It is the spark and the world is helium
That's how it goes
And has gone since the golden days of Greece
When It had wings
And arrows raining from the sky
And also I
It starts for me the same each time
An accidental touch
Or a smile I have never seen before
Or a side of you
An act done that defies my perceptions
Of you
That moment when I believe again
In that thing
That it seems you cannot speak or
It disappears
But in all my wisdom I am a fool
And gasping in the moment
I grasp
And I name it before the world 
And I should be trepidatious 
I know
I should be much more careful
I know
Considering my past and my scars
I know
But I don't care!!!
I will name you 
O Love 
And I know I sign my destruction 
And I don't care!!
*a beat*
Maybe I should...
Because I have now begun to see
My dear are still afraid of the pain
And she was too
Scarless as her heart may have been
And I jump
I start planning retirement homes 
And the names of our 6th child
I am a hopeless romantic 
When I love
I give you not just my heart but also
My dreams
And my future and all that I have 
It's a lot
I realize this about myself now 
In this writing 
In this moment 
I realize that my passion may be a bit
Not as some pat on the back to myself 
But a flaw
Many things in life are delicate and require
A delicate touch
Maybe love is the same thing too
Maybe love
Is the most fragile thing in the world
I'll do my utter very very best 
To keep it in
Retain all my enthusiasm and refrain 
My heart
I will hide and not carry on my sleeve 
Is this playing hard to get?
God, I hope not 
But if its what it takes to draw you in 
If the hidden heart is the "realer" thing
I guess I will play these little love games
*a sigh*
And the moment and its momentum is 
And the warmth has left and I am me again 
It's the destruction of love for me
Each time 
Rain over my love parade
And put out my fires 
But then don't expect me to suddenly 
Be chipper and on fire at a beat 
My kindling
It's still damp and my flint is gone
Wait and the spark might come back 
But I don't know 
See this is why love is so hard 
I can't seem to be 
Half hearted about it 
I give it all fully and freely 
If you give it back and say not yet 
You are no longer giving it back to a man
You are giving it back to a 5 year old
And he 
He doesn't understand why you don't want us
And he
He doesn't understand why you have to wait
Even if I do 
This is why I will live in the moment with love 
Maybe that will be a moment of waiting
And I will wait
And dampen my hearts tearing for you
Or maybe it will be a moment of passion 
And I will offer it fully and freely 
And selfishly
Making you be the bad guy 
This is escalation 
Too fast for present or past
This is love 
Why I keep thinking to leave it behind 

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