Friday, October 28, 2011

Eau d'Voux

It haunts my dreams
The scent I found
As I drew near you
It wafted and perfumed the air
Like Cleopatra's barge upon the Nile
I smelled the summer sun
Concentrated through years
Like the barley and wheat
When the wind blows through the ears
Ruffling wonton like a woodland nymph
Basking her golden skin in the sun
The scent of the reapers whose sickle sharp
Their song rising above the late summer sky
The golden ears of corn gather
Winnow and thrash till all remains
The perfect kernel of summer gold
Concentrated sunlight and with the scent
Of the woodland dances of midsummer eve
When bonfires large as columns for the sky
Lit the faces of young lovers and friends
Neath a star studded night
When the korn was baked into fresh bread
When the wine was new and the dance free
When ivy wound about fair youths heads
And the sound of singing filled the night
As warm breezes ruffled the trees
To pull the first of the yellowed leaves off
That is the scent I found on your skin
The scent of summer's last day
Filled with the joy and quiet contentment
Of days spent reaping the rich fruits
And drinking deep of Ganymede's cup
Were I to take eagle form
And disturb the cup and bearer
Who alone has this aroma about them
Living incense to drive me mad
Or remain unseen above
My eagle pinions ruffled by rough winds
To look only down at the distant figure
That Cleopatra, that Ganymede
I shall remain aloft
And not disturb the sleeping Endymion
Save to draw near and drink of the cup
While the sleeper dost sleep
But ere Dawn rises again I alight
And not disturb the Day with the Moon's presence


And then you had to Come

I thought that I knew what I was talking about
And then you had to come
And I thought I knew what I was doing about
These thoughts and feelings inside
And then you had to come
I thought that maybe the inevitable could be avoided
That, I don't know, maybe things would change
Or that maybe knowing would make it easier
And then you had to come
And even though no matter which trail
I follow the ends are none of them good
Even the best, the very best end
Will never be the happily ever after
And then you had to come
I thought I understood the star cross'd lovers
Till now
Now I know that they had it easy
Things in the real world get much too complicated
And I feel like I'm rambling again...
And then you had to come
But I know that day is coming
The darkest day for me
The brightest day for you
and because it is a bright day for you
It shall be both dark and bright for me
And because it is dark for me
I know it shall be bright and dark for you too
Because words never spoke
But spoken through a thousand acts
Can leave no doubt about where the piece stand
And what the final move must be
Has always must be
And then you had to come
Fate had a firmer grip on you it seems
Or maybe her hand on me
Has pushed you where I can never trod
This is not love scorned or unreturned
This is love returned even more full
Yet the deck is set against both players
And in the end Lady Luck is a cruel mistress
To throw two dice together in her bowl
Only to scattered them across the playing board
So far removed
And then you had to come
And I realized just what I wanted
And could never let myself have
For your sake
For my sake
Certain roads that beckon and call
Shall never be answered
Some adventures we will forgo
This all I had perfectly decided on
And then you had to come
And again each time I made up my mind
To set myself far apart
To resist your smiles and slurred speech
Each time firmer in my determination still
And then you had to come
And break harder your waves upon the dam
And break my will asunder again
And again
and again
Till once more I tasted the turkish delight
And knew the fruit and the tree it came from
And the taste of mortality on my lips
And then you had to come
And make me want after your poison yet again...

Lethe's Flight (Unfinished)

How strange are these
children of the tears
that poor Lethe shed
Ere she fled from that lord
So noble of birth
And whose kingdom vast
Encompasses the earth
And whose dark form
All mortals turn to in time
When my lord Aides did
In the summer of her youth
Pursue that fair nymph
Through subterranean ways
Where cthonic streams
Gurgled from the mirk
And seeped across landscapes
Never yet blessed by the sun
Nor moon, or twinkling star's faint light
Where Night and Day have no rule
But all is shadows and shade
And the dominion of the lord
Of the darkest realms

When Lethe, still in her youth,
Did seek refuge from his unsought suit
She called in voice of supplicant tone
To her father great Okeanous of old
That Great Circumference of the world
And raising prayers and her tears
She cried to him and said, "My Father,
Great Circumference of the world
Shall the immortals now look upon you with shame
And say your power has diminished since those days
When first you bound Gaia in her place
She whom all the immortals spring from
Shall the acorn now say it is mightier than the oak
So rise up now and stir from your sleep
Lest your daughter's tears go unheard
And the immortal gods who dwell on Olympos
Say no more strength dwells in your arms
To save even her you once called dearest to you!"

And whilst the nymph praying her father so
Was yet in the field of the boulders
That barren wasteland that lies twixt
The realms of fiery Tartarus to the south
And the shadow regions from wence rise
The seeping Styx, that curs'd river
Upon which even Zeus does swear
And where even vampyric furries
Fear to fly when by them selves
And so running she in that bouldered land
Heard the young lord in high chase behind
His victory near, his prize in hand
That her father turned his aged head
And heard the pleas of the simple nymph
And rose a might wall in that plain
Twixt his daughter and the lord
who commands Cerberus the dog of three




Thursday, October 20, 2011

Lean Not On Your Own Understanding

I walk this path in darkest night
Along the desert of my soul
And I come once more to the place
Where the bodies lay in the sand
Severed in half
A sacred promise
Your torches passed here
Your words echoed on the breeze
and I was foolish enough to believe them
You made a promise
You said things would be different
Your torches passed between them
Half dead corpses on both sides
Oxen, sheep, doves who never did wrong
You or me
They were killed
Their blood spilled because....
You said this would be different
You said we would be together
Forever
And I believed
You said that these things took time
You said that no one would come between us
You said that all I had to do was trust
Trust You
And I believed the promise
I wept for the promise
I waited for the promise
I waited
But yet
You never came
I sat by myself
Under this sycamore tree
I climbed its branches
Till I reached the stars
And plucking them from the firmament
The wall that was built
You built between us
I threw the stars of heaven to the earth
To reach the place
The place I heard I could find
You
But heaven was an empty sepulcher
And I couldn't understand why
I must have misunderstood somehow
How could I have been so foolish to believe
That if I were to climb to the highest heavens
I would find
You
And I blamed myself
I said it must have been me
I crept down from the sycamore tree
Under the cold eyes of scornful angels
Who reminded me I did not belong
Belong with
You
So I crept along the tree
Till I came to the dust
Back to the dust
To the ashes to ashes
To where my home was
And I lay in the dust
And when my friends came to me
I told them to depart
For I had not seen the foundations of the earth
And I could not hook Leviathan
And I was but dust
and ashes spent
So I took to the flames
And buried myself in the breath of life
And a pyre was above me
And the gold of the idols
Dripped between the stones
And the drops of molten gold seared
As they dropped down and coated my skin
Till I was a golden man
And idol in the images of men in the images of gods
In the image of G-d
And I sat in the flames as a god
And I wept in the flames as only a god may weep
And I knew my place was here in Sheol
And I hoped that I could find in between gnashing teeth
You
But lo, I was still alone
And anger consumed my soul
I had waited for You
I had wept for You
I had believed You
And I errupted from beneath the earth
As the sun
And burned with fiercest harshest light
And I screamed at the morning
The morning that was me
And I hated the dawn
I hate you Dawn!
My anger was kindled
And the fingers of hatred brushed my soul
With an icy shutter as pale as snow
And I fell away from the earth
Until I floated listlessly
Listless in the hyperborean sea
The wings of the dawn were dying
And the uttermost was all I had
And even there in the end of days
When I had forsaken all others
When I had followed You
Still You hid from me
As if this was some sort of game
As if my love for You was some game
I shed this godly form
And returned my golden heart for one of flesh
And life flooded my veins
Along with the bitterest of dread
I sat upon the edge of the world
My feet dangling into space
And stars spun around them
Following the currents of the wind
And that was when
Then of all times and in all space
That You came to me
Grew a tree to give me shade
And returned all my sons and daughters to me doubled
As if that somehow replaced the ones You took away
And as the final note of the last trump died off key
Then You chose to ride in on Your white horse
And looked at me with that perplexed look in Your eyes
That just couldn't seem to understand why
Why I was angry
Why I was hurt
Why I no longer would take You at Your Word
Look back at Rachel weeping for her children
Look back at the burning cities
And see the Salt of Compassion
The ever present pillar that is the ever present witness
To what You have done
And all of this, My Love
Why?
Because You weren't sure of my heart?
Testing me to see if I would give my all
You knew this from the very start
Why bring a ram and rooster into it at all?
So where does that leave us?
You and I?
I sit here watching the cosmos roll by
You stand there watching me waiting for a response
Soon my time will draw near
And then what sight will we see?
Can You love me and watch me suffer like this for ever?
Can You love me and extinguish the smoldering wick?
Can You love me and hide Your face when I need You?
Did You ever love me at all?






Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Hated Decisions

Each day I hate you less
Just a little little less
And I seem to find the space
To start breathing once again
When I hear the songs once ours
When a memory once sweet
Threatened to overwhelm
Now less strength carries it
But your love has been a poison
And I drank deeply every day
Until it burned away my marrow
And ashen was my soul
Your love was an addiction
An addiction for myself
I loved loving and loving you
Being loved was falsest health
For under the guise of smiles and poesy
Under the light of fireworks and the moon
Your love was a vine wrapping around me
Boa constrictor to my art and my muse
But your poisoned arrow
Was doubly tipped
For not only was my art affected
But then also did your bitter taste strike
And extinguished my trust's light
And now when I feel another heart beating
When I look at her standing close by my side
When I see another whose love is worth keeping
The barb in my chest reminds me by tide
That once I placed my trust in a girl
Once I made her my entire world
Once I loved her with all of my being
And she tore it and broke it and spat on my dreams
And so the raven comes to my heart
And speaks to my logic, my hurt, and my art
And reminds me the vow the broken must keep
Nevermore nevermore until I sleep
Love is not near nough with Lethe in kind
To make me forget the poison of your kind