O What a Thought

O what a thought this is

To think you may never know

Just how deep your fingerprints

Have made a mark upon this soul

O what a thought this is

That you could go all your days and not see

That for many days on end

You were the world to me

O what a thought this is

That you were not truly blind

But in infinite compassion forged

You were silent when you saw my mind

O what a thought this is

That you could see farther than I

That you were silent so I could learn

To live my life free of this lie

O what a thought this is

That never shall I see your smile

Again as I did when the morning sun was young

How age wears down on man's miles

O what a thought this is

That the earth truly is bitter to taste

That all these songs and words were written

For a purpose and are not truly waste

O what a though this is

That I am still merely a man

And no matter my knowledge I cannot

See still the range of the ineffable plan

The Pheonix Soars

Come now all of you

We can make it through this storm

We must press on we must

And no more look so forlorn

For the day is coming now

On wings that break all the rules

And when the yardstick shatters

We shall see the kings and fools

Come now all of you

We must press on to that coming dawn

We must make it we must

And no more bow to the scorn

For as morning breaks over the globe

And fills those dark pockets with gold

We shall fill saddness with joy

As youth take the place of bitter old

Come now all of you

We are almost at the end

The journey was far and upriver

Yet the greatest joy waits beyond the bend

And I know my heart shall heal once more

And I know my love is still ever yours

But night turns to day

And old turns to new

And I will always still love you

Even as I turn and set fire to that love

And as the flames rise to the sky

This sacrifice of our love to the Highest

So I set fire to the line between you and I

And I know that I shall burn as well

And rise as a pheonix from the flames

And soar higher than I have ever before

On the wings of flame you have given me

Come now all of you

Let us all rise on flamewings

Soar into the starlit morning

And break the clouds apart to find

That violet daybreak when all the world sings again

The Pheonic Weeps

O Salt

Thy name is known to me

For how else should I mark the hours

Then by thy constant fall

O Salt

Thou who preserve all of man

Now unto they everlasting memory

I commit this final after image

O Salt

Flow from my eyes as a font

And gather in the flats of my heart

Harden there to purest stone

O Salt

You have i tasted most of all

My only comfort when all else have gone

And I find myself alone once more

O Salt

You essence of my soul

Go now out into the wide world

And run among the streams of old

O Salt

And gather there with thine kinfolk true

In the cast seas of human heartache

And a thousand thousand joys

O Salt

You know me beyond any other

And I would recall you anon I fly

Burn brightest in this heart

O Salt

Forver you and that I long for are mine

The Pheonix Stops to Think

These arms were once so weak

But now they have found something

So strong and so reassured

That no more will pain endure

Come now all these songs that sing

And the joyous noise we'll bring

For the arms that were broken

Were made anew again

But oh how bitter the news

That once we should have had

The song that would endure

But for the sake of all that longing

Still no answer would step forth

That at the end of days no passing

The sea would rise with forth

For skies now turning red

And the end of days draw neigh

So shall this horesman stand

And feed the flock anon he lights

Upon that steed that stand await

Pale as the morning mist it stands

And no more of mortal man's words

It harks but only the call of destiny

No more to stand in that dire place

Arms of compassion now hear

O arms turn your ear to me

The world is cursed and I stand

Alone at the heart of the maelstrome

I know the part I am to play

But abhorence is stil in my mind

I cannot turn to blood this day

Come oh sheep the harvest is neigh

Do you know the reason today you die?

A great cost it takes to bring what must come

I have felt the touch of destiny

And now I am undone

So shall I turn to fire

And when all has passed below and above

Let them say I did it for love

The Phoenix Born

Come now gentle flame

Here alight upon my breast

And take hold golden bright

Brother of my aching

Sister of my dispair

Can you tell my tale

Or shall you lie for me?

All can see now plain

Laid out here to see

The path that once was trod

The path that never sees

The light of day comes now

And my light with all these

For of the seven suns

That have basked since the night

Of the seven moons

Wrapped in silken delights

I have never known

A star more radiant

That shall I set my course

By this lode's demands

Or shall I turn once more

Upon this endless sea

Shall I yearn once more

Or shall I call for Thee

But where was love when all

The night was dark and cold

Where was love when I

Knew the taste of blood

No I shall stir again

Sleeping in the ice

I shall rise once more

And feast upon their eyes

So when the time has come

And where this river runs

No more to lie in state

No more their tongues to sate

I shall turn my back

And I shan't look aside

There where deeps things crawl

There I go to hide

But the world is an ever tomb

And no matter where I run

There is always the dancing still

Between the moon and sun

And so shall days now pass

And time so silent heals

But I shall turn my head

And find the secret wheels

That turn and grind their bones

And look beyond this scope

I shall rise for my own sake

No more this bitter trope

My heart anew to make

Over again to break

For my own sake

The Pheonix Stirs

Contain

And let all feelings wash away

Refrain

And don't let them see again

But no matter the pain

Or the times and trials ahead

I cannot simply become lame

I'd rather feel then be so dead

So I shall sing

And write the words I fear to say

I shall dream

The things I have lost in yesterday

And I shall take wing

No matter how dark it may seam

And no more to contain

No more to refrain

No I shall take flight

And I shall draw might

From the tears I have sown

And from the love I have known

And when the backs all have turned

And I my salt and dues have earned

I shall then spread my secret wings

For I am not all that I seem

And upon the wings of night take flight

And I shall rise up to glorious hights

And they shall look upon me

The one that they have scorned

And they shall know me

As the one they aught have adored

And I shall rise over their eyes

Full of scorn and compromise

And I shall search for the violet dawn

And let my art and my heart be reborn

Us and me

I am outside myself

It is a part of the process

(And breathe)

I am without myself

Where I cannot see anymore

(Now begin)

I undo my self

Tearing into warmest flesh

(Clear)

I will consume myself

And leave an empty mirror

(Reset the metronome)

I float from myself

Tugging strings breaking my skin

(Refrain)

I can't believe myself

The song starts again

(Now think)

I slice in two myself

Two hearts, two minds apart

(And break)

I have destroyed myself

Too many pieces to put together again

(Again)

The Drop of Fire

A single drop of fire

Is all it took

It fell

So far

So deep

And burned

And kept burning

Burning and burning until

There was a sigh

And the smoke

Drew back

Like a curtain of vesper song

And there in the silence

Stood the penitent one

With eyes like the sea

And a voice that broke

My hardest heart

And so we turned

And had compassion

And the sand drew back from the sea

But the flames were alive with passion

And they burned with yearning for his blood

And I would have given their desire

Had I not also seen his eyes

And the depths there held

The oceans primordial

Brimming with life

And the ever deep echoes

In vast subterranean chambers

Where lone stone crumbles

Fell into abyssmal depths

And never knew the light again

And I feared to be a stone

Falling into those eyes

And the flames were held back

And their fury was great

For a flame cannot see

Into the eyes of a man

It is too hungry of a thing

It seeks only to sate it's desire

And so it leapt for at the man

The resplendid figure on the sand

And reached out for those fingers

It licked the salt from his hand

And drew back

And knew

And finally understood what was meant

When one sees the sea in a set of eyes

And begins to drown beyond belief

For those eyes were shut

Like the great curtains of Night herself

And the fire trembled

As a lone drop

Trickled from the delicate wave

Of small curling lashes

That seam of the sea

We call the strand

A single drop

Is all it took

The Willow and the Ivy Covered Oak

When the moon rose over the silver splashing stream that wound its way from deep within the viridian woods, there where the bend caused the water to overreach it's banks and spread like quicksilver between each blade of the verdant swath that spread from the breaks in the trees, the white light of the moon slid over the bark of two lonely trees that quivered in the naked light. One a tall and slender willow, with branches wide and leaves of silvergreen spearheads that slid and caressed across one another with the faintest of whisper in the windless night. The other an old white oak, gnarled and long dead that had found life again as the growth of ivy, greenest of green, had engulfed the dry wood with it's twisting form and rose as billowing clouds from pale twisting branches. And as the shadows deepened and danced across the bark, there was a strange tremble in the ancient wood as if a creaking and groaning and two doors long shut were finally moved on ancient arboreal hinges. And as the folds of the twisted willow bark were parted as curtains by fingers pale and ancient as the forests from within the deep darkest corners a face was seen, with eyes that glowed with faerie light. For of course this was no ordinary wood, and the stream that wound from deep within its bounds was enchanted and it's waters were what made the trees in the woods come alive and these two trees who stood at the bend where the enchanted river water splashed from the banks had drunk deeply of the river for a thousand years. So whenever the moon was full and the night was dark and even the wind fell under the spell of the soft light, then the trees would come alive unlike any other time. First the willow stirred under the light's soft touch, and leaving the dark folds of it ancient slumber, its pale wiry form pushed from within the warm enclosure of the outer bark. And as it's ivory skin glistened in the moonlight, while muscles taught and joints stiff from long slumber flexed, it ran its fingers through its leafy head and closed its eyes and yawned a drowzy yawn. And its soft gaze fell upon the old white oak which stood a ways away on the other side of the silver stream, that age old friend who grew with it. And as the bright silver eyes of the willow fell upon the oak, the green glowing eyes of the ivy wrapped oak looked back from within the shadows. The willow stepped upon the bright green grass, feeling the pulse of the silver stream's magic waters as they flowed through the course of its rootlike feet with the power of all creation. And the willow began to dance upon the silver water, calling the dainty balls of golden light, the fireflies woken from their slumber. And as the willow danced the wind began to stir with the faintest of music on the breeze. The long distant laughter of summers now passed and the golden warmth of lazy star scattered nights all reached their songs back to the place where the river bent and where the willow now danced upon the banks. The willow's song roused the ivy covered oak and in dusky tendrils of viridian it slipped from its slumber and stood in the shadows watching the willow. The green eyes glowed brightly as the twisted and gnarled form placed it's hand dark as a pine forest and veined with shadows upon its heart which had come alive at the willow's song. But before it could slip from its hiding place the river rose and trembled and quivered and strange shapes and ripples ran counter to the quicksilver current. And the willow retreated from the rising flood and climbed into the branches of the tree. And the figure in the shadows retreated to it's home as well and could only watch as the river rose more. For they knew not that far up high above the hill from where their river came, mankind had breached the safety of their enchanted woods. And they knew not that the men had built a dam there to hold back the river. And they knew not that those foolish men, not realizing that this was a wild river and one that could not be tamed, had been overcome by the forces of the river and the wood and the dam had been undone. But what they did see was the sudden rush of the silver stream growing and spreading and drowning those poor prickles of grass and touched the trees first the roots and then the trunks. Both figures climbed higher and green eyes met silver in return. But there was no way to cross the river and reach from one tree to the other. And still it rose higher and higher. The willow, it's branches low and stooping could climb no further and watched as the angry river rose and rose. But then from the shadows there was a crack and a groan of pain. And the willow watched in horror as the old oak fell sideways across the rushing torrents. And from the shadows of the ivy leaves a hurried whispered could barely be heard, telling the willow to get upon the oak and escape as soon as it could. And so the willow was saved and rode the old oak tree to the shallower part of the river and when it disembarked from that ark of salvation, it turned to the ivy in thanks. But the ivy was gone. For the old oak had not stood by its own volition for many years and the ivy had grown all about and around and even throughout it, keeping it up. And when the ivy had let the oak finally fall, it had pulled it out by it's very roots. But there at the base of the broken roots was one small curling vine of bright greenery mark with shadow. And the willow taking that last bit of life, walked into the darkness of forest, seeking another old oak that needed new life.

Colloquy of Thought

Said my Longing to my Soul

"Shall we walk upon the strand

And trace each every inlet

Where the sea kisses the sand?"

Replied my Soul unto my Longing

"Sir, you have waited far too long

The hour comes of midnight's making

when our path may yet go wrong."

Scoffed my Longing at my Soul

"Why need we Day's harsh light

When other lamps can light our way

The stars that dance in glorious night?"

So bent my Soul unto my Longing

And rising from that cautious seat

Made their way along the shore

The sand still warm to their feet

Then said my Longing to my Soul

"While the day's warmth linger's yet

Let us wade out into the waters

To dance among the foaming wet."

Answered my Soul unto my Longing,

"Is the water here not deep?

And what strange currents

May yet sweep us from our feet?"

Smiled my Longing to my Soul,

"But we shall wade out not too far

And when the water touches knees

Safe we'll stand on that sand bar."

Said my Soul unto my Longing,

"To the sand bar but no one more step

For I know not these deep waters

Or past sorrows they have kept."

Whispered my Longing to my Soul,

"Past sorrows pass as a leaf in the stream

And even today's tragedy all too soon

Reclines inside and fades like a dream."

So headed my Soul the words of my Longing

And setting foot into the tumbling rush

They began their wade beneath the pale moon

No sound save for the Sea's gentle hush.

Said the Moon unto that Sea,

"What new tenant have you earned?

I saw two bathers enter your chambers

But lo, only one now has returned."

Answered the Sea unto that Moon,

"A few steps more, a splash and a bump

Longing may drown a man's Soul

And a little leaven leavens the whole lump."

Tulgian Sent

I release these dreams unto the night

Let them run, on wings of wind take flight

Let them gather unto those minds asleep

Let them bring the image to the places deep

For wrought with fire are these ancient devices

That run with desire according to my vices

And now when the boiling draws nigh to the faces

Let them in their beds of satin and laces

Be visited by the phatom of my derision

And taste of the river of my decisions

For as the ones speak now through vessel unbroken

Let them heed the fires that I have spoken

And walk in the wheel of the path I have shaped

And tast of the fruit of desire and hate

And with eyes now turning let hearts be in twain

Desiring all that this love has to gain

For selfish are hearts when caught in the fire

And blind are the eyes that drown in desire

To the Handmaid of El-roi

" וַיִּשָּׂא־לֹ֣וט אֶת־עֵינָ֗יו וַיַּרְא֙ אֶת־כָּל־כִּכַּ֣ר הַיַּרְדֵּ֔ן כִּ֥י כֻלָּ֖הּ מַשְׁקֶ֑ה לִפְנֵ֣י ׀ שַׁחֵ֣ת יְהוָ֗ה אֶת־סְדֹם֙ וְאֶת־עֲמֹרָ֔ה כְּגַן־יְהוָה֙ כְּאֶ֣רֶץ מִצְרַ֔יִם בֹּאֲכָ֖ה צֹֽעַר׃"

Across the flat and endless parch

The salt pan stretched to infinite white

And the heat of day danced with Death

While my thirsty heart gasped for breath

Across the plains of death you walked

Barefeet never feeling the kiss of heat

Your robe of crimson caressed by gold

The image of a river in a land of cold

Across your face the ashes blew fire

The hair in your shawl together billowed sail-like

And those eyes that watched my creation's first step

Those eyes now saw me and such tears they wept

Across your face fell the antediluvian rains

And collected in the cup of such deep fingers

And kneeling as a penitent before this huddled man

You planted those tears in the cracking sand

Across the firmament the lightning crackled

And heaven was defenestrated by the seed in the sand

The tendril of viridian sprang from your sigh

And raised first-leaves prayer-like to the weeping sky

Across the flat and endless parch fell your rain

And ran together and crashed together and roared

Your song gurgled from depths, like a fountain sprang

And your river brought life wherever it ran

Across the space between the two there reached

A hand holding something more dear than water or life

Your fingers unfolded to reveal the heaviest thing of all

A kindness offered in answer to suffering's call.

"And he looked out towards Zoar, over the whole

of the plains of Jordan.

And he saw that it was watered well

and like the Eden..."

Gen.13.10

Good/Bad/Love/Hope

You are so good

Much too good

And I am so bad

Just a bit too much

And so as opposites slide

So of course you'd have my love

And of course I can never have yours

For this is how the world deals with us

The star cross'd lovers, or just lover in this case

But I cannot let myself believe

I cannot think it may be true

That all this love I feel

Is simply wasted on you

That you cannot feel it

You cannot see it

You do not know

Not even a bit

So I shall hold on to hope

Not the hope of your love's return

But I shall hold on to hope that just maybe

Maybe you know how my heart bleeds for you

Maybe you know what pain I feel when I hear your name

And that will be enough for me

No word or act in return

Nothing at all from you

Just the hope that you know

That I am not abandoned

Or forgotten

That is all

All I can hope for now

Because I am so very good

Good at hoping at the thing lost

So I shall be good at hoping

And you can be good at being so good

And when you smile at me so sweetly

I'll pretend that the smile is for me

Because I can't do anything else

Because I am so bad

and you are so good

Trepidation

My love

How long since I have whispered your name to silence of night's ebony wings

And yet even now

Your name recalls to me all those joyful, wonderful, magical memories

But on swift feet

Here come the cool sliding memory, our last memory, when you weren't there

And I waited for you

And you did not come even though you said you'd come and I was all alone

And now you're here

And you have that look in your eyes again that would melt my heart

And then break it again

You ought to know more about human hearts then this, we are too easily broke

So now you've come

And as we lay here in the silence of night's warm embrace

I will try not to cry

We won't say anything, do anything, just you and I lying here

And we won't move

Because deep down we both know it won't do either of us any good anymore

We will stay here

And let the dust of ages collect like a blanket to sooth our slumber

And I will try not to die

But I can make no promises, my love, I cannot make them as easy as you

And maybe I will die lying here

But at least this way I know that if I die here I will die with you by my side

And afterward?

That is no longer up to me is it? Your hands. Your choice. Your move.

Your love.

A Wretched Poem Poorly Done

Torpid fumes about me bask

And I shall suffer these wiles no more

But while the tears fall in the ash

I look up and can only adore

This lone bird flying so high

Above these dark clouds that make my tomb

A single dove against blue sky

Here now, but gone too soon

This is that same one

Whose form wrought like the ivory moon

For this one I would come

And follow if it didn't leave so soon

But my fingers are just too short

And my hands are bound by my own rope

So I shall reach for despair and mort

I can reach them, but never that hope

Illuminate

And then like a beacon upon the storm dark seas

I saw you

And I knew that you were my only salvation

From dark and lonely nights spent in the cold

And then like a bright shinning star above the clouds

I knew you

To be the one who would walk before me

Always leading me onward to the violent dawn

And then like the dancing northern lights above

I had you

And I knew the brightest flame holds no heat

And the sun can slumber in shades so cool

Lambing the Muse

A hard mistress is my muse

This poor poet so to abuse

For no sleep shall she grant

Until word more utter I can't

So now in gross poetic line

I shall recall the ivy and vine

And upon god of grape and desire

I shall offer this sacred fire

That mayhap they shall can see

What image has now come to me

That day when Pan did see there

Upon the hilltop green, the fair

One, keeper of his ancient heart

And turner of his nature's art

The one which in poetic code

shall be called Lamb, as innocence bode

For like a lamb Pam's lover was tame

And knew not the rules of love's game

And trusted heart unto one so dark

The one with the most evil heart

But anon he would take hold of prize

Pan glanced into those gorgeous eyes

And realized no matter he lust much

This pure beauty he could not touch

He hid his face in utter shame

And he threw away his form and name

And took upon him a more humble form

And would no more the laurel adorn

But as a goat he wandered the fields

Where golden Demeter her scepter wields

And as he journeyed to distant parts

The lamb he always kept within his heart

In the hopes that they could still be friends

In the hopes they would someday meet again

Texting in Dreams

Another night when words are sweet

Another night I wish to keep

When under Bacchian spell

I text you and wish you well

For as Night draws its deep blue shade

I messaged you, sweet dreams I bade

And when you responded swiftly

I believed you too loved me

But these are the wishes of the night

When wine makes the eyes shine bright

And when come the morning's face

The truth once more I will embrace

That these things are phantom dreams

That your love is not what it seems

And that if I were to place my heart in your hand

You wouldn't even begin to understand

So while the joy engulfs me in falsehood's embrace

I will merely dream of your face

Yon Wicked Goat

Said the goat unto the lamb

"Let us go a bit along

this dusty road ahead of us

To the fountain far beyond."

Answered the lamb unto the goat

"The font you speak of I know well

Tis not a place you would call pleasant

Tis not the place many lambs dwell."

"Come with me." Spoke the goat

"There is no need to be afraid.

For the path is just right here.

And by sweet songs we are bade."

"I do not know," whispered the lamb

"I am not sure of this new path

for I have heard unpleasant reports

Of all on it journeyed hath."

"Come soon," breathed the goat

"This path has been trod by all

There is not so much danger here

See, no true ravine into which to fall."

But still linger did the lamb

Peering down the road so dark

And even hearing such soft music

The goat's word it would not hark.

But the goat knew what the lamb did not

That the path was enchanted made

And that soon the rising ridge would

Push the lamb where the goat had bade.

Silly Little Scribble

I'll scribble one more verse

For all caught by love's curse

Since tonight you grant no sleep

And my heart its vigil keeps

While the lily lies in sweet repose

You waken my muse to compose

And while my broken arms ache

Still you smile on my memory breaks

Like the ocean crashes on the sand

I close my eyes and recall your hand

I feel it now here in the night

Were feelings able to bring sight

The sweet smell upon your lips

The way they curve as your smile dips

But soft! The spell is spent!

And the love was only lent

Now as a phantom you dissipate

Before the words that came too late

I longed to whisper in your ear

But now you've gone and disappeared

And so I shant write more tonight

I shall put out my little light

And if the gods and my muse be true

Grant they that I dream of you

Lacewing Paper

The air grows so thin

Like lacewing paper spread over us

And as I reach towards you

I am afraid I'll tear it

So I push

Push as hard as I can

Strain against the paper

Just a bit harder then before

I write my name on the paper

And yours next to mine

I use what I can

My tears

My blood

What ever will hold the hardest letters

I hope that if I do this

Leave an imprint of my soul

That maybe you'll see it

With your eyes glued shut

Or maybe you won't

But at the very least

These demons that push my soul

That push my heart to bleed

To bleed at the thought of you

They will no longer be inside me

Consuming me

I trap them in the paper with words

And I can't help feeling

That I trap a part of my heart there too

You won't see it

You can't

I understand

But I can't keep this any longer

Lacewing paper is fine

Is thin

But still not thin enough

It suffocates my soul

And as much as I want you

I also want to be able

Able to breathe again

And it's not fair of me

To smother you with all my affection

I can't keep you mine

Not with all the lacewing paper

All the lacewing paper in the world

What Wrote Ophelia There

You could have it all

Anything you want

The world rises up in the morning

Rises up to greet your face

And offers you all the sweetness

That it denies me this day

You can have everything

Everything you've dreamed

They bloom before your eyes

And gild the curves of your smiles

As it has gilt my tears tonight

You can choose anything

Anyone, all long for you

You have the soul like a lodestone

All hearts turn towards you

And my greatest pain is your blindness

To the loves that you could have

For each day the world offers all

And each day you still look small

In your own eyes

And each day they offer their love

And each day you shrug it off

Believing none can love you

So here I stand and sway

Caught between antipodes of dread

Either, you know not your worth

Reject all their loves

And mine with them

Or else

I pry open your eyes

And you see my heart

And seeing mine see theirs as well

And realize

That you could have anyone at all

So why would you ever choose me

I sway and linger on this thread

I weave these thoughts around my head

And plummet into the growing dread

Your heart could give me everything

Arthur's Tears

What words are left

You have broken me utterly

The way the sun caught your smile

And it reminded me of once

When that smile could have been

Could have been

For me

You walked like the sun

So surely and so true

As if your course was unchanging

Empyrean and set

And I would be the dog

Your spaniel, Demetrius

Following always in your wake

Again I dare to glance

To glance at you for second

And all I see is the gentle wave

Of the ocean curling to meet the shore

It's been caught in your hair

Those chocolate waves

Veined with purest gold

How I wish to draw near again

To breathe in again

To smell your hair once more

As I did so many times

While you slept soundly in the sun

You are slowly seeping like the dawn

Coloring my world that was grey for so long

Trying to fight your way once more

To the place you held before

When you were my sun

My centre, my soul

O I cannot let it

I tell myself I cannot let you

I must restrain myself

I must contain myself

I cannot let love sprout again

Not when

When you tore my still beating heart

Out of the chest and left naught but night

You have no idea

Not the slightest clue

How far your fingers reach

You choose over and over again

As if I don't exist

And just as I am ready

Set to give you up

Then you turn that face

As pale as the moon

With a blush of your drink

Breathing on your cheeks

Those lovely cheeks

Whose circles I've traced

Time and time again

Mapping all for my memory

As if I knew this day would come

Again

Just then

When I would let you go

And say it is better for you to go

Then you turn and smile my way

A word of affection so long sought

A King is not supposed to cry

And yet your beauty draws tears

From my soul

My longing for you, my love

Consumes my heart and mind

And turns all to fountains and springs

That drain from my eyes as the rivers

The rivers of desire and heartbreak

That pool into the ocean of my pillow

Again

You wipe the tear from my cheek

And trace it with your smooth thumb

And suddenly we're right back where we started

What words are left

You have broken me utterly

Guinivere's Response

Tonight the shadows grow so deep

The air draws chill in my stoney keep

And I know that it is true

You've come and gone another day

You're out there and you did not stay

And I know that it is true

You said you loved me as a friend

Those words of hope that also rend

And I know that it is true

Are you friend who desire's lover

Or are you lover caught as a brother

I know not which is true

But on nights like this when my eyes shine

When my hand reaches for more wine

I know that it must be true

That the only time I have ever felt love

Was waking with your face above

And I know it can be true

That maybe your heart is the same as mine

And maybe all we need is a bit more time

Maybe it could be true

So I'll endure one more cold lonely night

For you, my ever constant knight

And I too shall remain true

True enough to you

Lancelot's Abhorence

My heart is amazed

by the horror of

you.

Those eyes so bleary

Unfocused and teary

That shimmer with lights foreign

to you.

I would swim in those seas

I would if they would

but look at me as I haved longed

at you.

But you chased so many

Around the merry go round

And circle tables set for all

but you.

And when my heart is at the breaking

the point of life and love's unmaking

Then I will steal to the place I slumbered

with you.

And there hidden by crevician art

that tender cloth you kept so near your heart

I will bring it to wipe my tears as I think

of you.

Be near me tonight, my sweetest desire

Even if only you walk in my dreams

And let me never dream again unless it be

of you.

My soul abhores this lonesome state

It knows limbo when it's taste'd.

And so it looks on me with shame

for you.

And so tonight I am amazed by you

My soul's abhorent praise to you

And I just can't stop my muse, it's true

From burning my heart with longing for you.

another

another lonely night

another lonely year

would i give it all away

just to have your ear

i sit here trying hard

to have patience again

another lonely how

another lonely when

i sit and try to smile

i die slowly inside

another birthday come

another part has died

i try not to care

i try not to die

i want to stop trying

i want to ask why

Soft Acoustic Sunset

Come and walk with me

By the old oak tree

Just sit here quietly

And listen to the world grow old

No its not about love today

No its not about all that jazz

Today is a day for you and me

And everyone else as well

Lets sit and listen to the world grow bright

And sepia seep into the cracks

And we'll bask in the glow

Of the warmth as day becomes night

And we won't even care at all

Because once night comes dancing on

We know the stars will be warm this time

Yes because we know the grass is warm

And we'll lie there watching fireflies

While slow, soft night music

And an old acoustic guitar

Drift and drone lazily by

And as our eyes grow heavier

And the sweetest slumber wraps its arms

Around us like the soft glow of 4th of July fireworks

We can now finally take a breath

And taste the dew forming on our tongues

And laugh until the sun peaks through

And laugh and shake our manes

Scatter dew drops in the morning light

And run back to be home in time for breakfast