What Time Is This

What time is it?

Time to run out and find the second hands 

Does it even matter that we are waking a line 

Counting down on a timer

If only I was talking about life and not something so much more painful 

Because annuals bloom annually

And taxes ruin each April flower

While the grains of sand keep dancing down 

And some things die too quickly now

What year is it? 

It feels like its been 1969 for far too long 

And the new moon is beginning to get kinda old

This feeling isn't really mine 

I and you, we are not really in time

Fallen through the cracks we dance in the starry space 

Between seconds and years and inches and lightyears

We sing in the silence and think not of tomorrow 

Because when we crash through the ceiling again 

And fall into the floor

Fall in time again 

We will feel it again 

The ticking time bomb that is the clock

But for now we will not worry

About what tomorrow will bring 

We will let tomorrow worry about itself 

Just stay here in this moment 

Viagra; or the quest to be apart, a person

Viagra; or the quest to be apart, a person 

It would be so easy to let you define me

To give you the power

To become everything I fear and loath

It would be so easy

To look on the brief note that is you

And call it a major plot point of my life 

But you are really nothing

I had just barely learned your name 

And even though I didn't love you 

I couldn't spend the whole night

It would be easy for me to ignore you

To give you that power

To haunt my every intimate thought

It would be easy for me to forget you

To say you touched me as much 

Or nearly as much as I pressed over you 

But I have never been one 

To take the easiest path I see

So know none of this will happen 

Though I will let this change me 

Talk That Talks

He said
What is this mouth you chose to wear today

These lips curve towards the grave

And those teeth were not as sharp before

Whose mouth are you wearing my dear?

And why 

Why can't your lips be consistent 

Consisting of either poison or ambrosia 

Or at the very least salt water for my voyage 

Gushing forth and frothing from between your teeth

Sailing down to the underworld on your current 

No need for some paltry guiding star 

When the raging roller coaster is in control

But I'd rather have your fluctuating venom

Or just your constant bile

Than to see you lock your lips 

And do nothing but smile 

So I guess I'm "whipped" and you are free

To walk where you want and have your way with me

And know there won't be any word of objection 

Because I guess I won't say this to you and we won't have this talk

As harmony kills honesty 

As security leads the dance with what is genuine 

In Loco Scriptorus

It is dynamic

Free flowing

All falling 

It is the rabbit hole

And it and I and we 

All of my children 

Scribbled in moments of ecstasy 

We are tumbling in an inverted tornado

We live in the perpetual mealstrome

At the bottom of the bathtub 

After the plug has been pulled 

Racing towards uncertainty 

There is no floor at the bottom 

Until you hit it 

So this is a time for inventory taking 

For hard decision making 

And the telling of untruths 

This is the time to look with perfect vision

While becoming deaf to their derision 

And the timing of things still undone 

The time to ask what would I do 

What would I be 

And be willing to give up 

In place of these jumbles of words in the air 

In place of the unborn children of my mind 

Trapped forever in the ether of my imaginings 

A weighty conscience for me then forever

While hurtling onward towards that certain uncertainty 

The ground will be there exactly when it means to be 

Apropos Cafe

Oh

It's you again 

I'm sorry

I didn't realize you'd be here 

I mean you can stay if you want

It doesn't matter either way, I guess

You have every right to be here

I guess, I just wasn't expecting you

It's like I said before

I won't fight you

Even if I've spoken ill of you

I won't ignore you

Even when you decide to stop ignoring me

No there isn't someone else 

Just me by myself

Have you been as lonely as me?

No, that's never really been a problem for you

Maybe that's why it's so hard for you to understand 

To understand why

But it's like I said 

I still can't trust you

Even when I'm trusting you to break your word

I still might love you

Even if you decide to love me again 

It's you again

I guess I still don't expect you

But maybe it still doesn't matter anyway

I'm sorry you felt

That you had to die

And I'm sorry that you thought that was the best way to show me

To show me that you thought you loved me

I'm sorry it's You again 

Declination

The "I" goes with the "me"
As "u" can clearly "c"
If you just turn your gaze
To figure A.3
And while this line
Moves forever towards y
It will never quite touch
No matter how hard "u" try
And the chord skips notes
Because what you "c" will never "b"
And no matter how sharp
The "I" still won't go with the "oui"
So remember the "amas"
When found in your table
And know it cannot be "amamus"
Because the isotope is unstable
And the intersection of two lines
Is simply a point or a dot
Even though in pointillism
We learn that lines are not
The thing that connect
The conjunctions all three
Are "and" and "or"
But "but" is still between
Sometimes big words
Can be broken down into parts
Such as "un" and "necessary"
And "broken" and "hearts".


Class dismissed

Mishmash Battle Cry

After I left you tonight

I went back

To each place we were before

Retraced our steps

Where I held the door

Where you laughed at a joke

Where we both almost tripped

Where I gave you my coat 

And where we both just sat and cried 

I drove back past the mansion

But stopped in the cemetery

And thought the same thoughts

I had thought on my second time through it all

Here I could have said it

Or there started the talk

The words I'd like to think

Are burning a hole in my tongue

Except that's not really true

In fact if we were to talk now

I'm still not sure what I'd say

Or if I'm afraid of what you'd do

Or if I would even really mean

Half the things out of my mouth

If I would just lie to you

And in the end lie to myself

I said I'd see this through and I will

As far as I can go

A distant wall of fog clouds my mind

And the future goes only till so

So sail onward we shall on this voyage 

And hope daybreak and landfall is near

Hope no shoals or storms or hidden things

Hide in that mists just waiting

Hope in hope and that's just dandy

But a sailor needs more than a sentiment

So "Onward and inward!" become my battle cry

Let loose the colors and sound the drums

Onward and inward to the worlds end

Lets hope it's a circle with a gentle bend 

The State of Our Union

You're going too fast she says

Places her hand on the handle

And looks out the window

We are running too late 

He says and presses the pedal 

And checks the time again 

You're spending too much

She says as she shakes her head 

We need to make cuts again

And he folds his arms 

Times right now may be tough

But we need to invest in tomorrow 

There won't be one if we die tonight

She says and she wants to shiver 

You're just reckless and irresponsible 

And he does not answer but replies 

You are just so scared of the risk

You'd rather just stand still then go forward 

You're changing too much 

She says and she steps away 

Is tomorrow really worth throwing away yesterday? 

You're speaking of stagnation 

He also turns away from her

You're speaking of rotting and dying too

So shall we die slow then 

He asks and she replies 

So shall we die fast then 

Because its hard to see the other side

When you've stopped listening 

And then have stopped caring too 

Worth It

Oh Darling Dear

Of course you love him

And of course he's worth it

If you decide he's worth it

And yes Dear Darling

They can think whatever they want

Of course you'll shrug your shoulders

And say its none of their business 

Because does it really matter 

If he sleeps with with those other boys

While you've been chased to the couch

Again 

He is worth it if you say so, of course

And he loves you even if he doesn't make love anymore

And of course it hurts you 

That's understandable my dear

And of course you don't care that he is with him tonight

But wouldn't it be nice if he'd stop in 

And at least kiss you goodnight

Like he used to

Yes he is worth it even when he's a jerk

And he's worth it even when he's drunk 

And tells you he secretly you're still the only girl for him 

And he's worth it when it's just the two of you

And you feel like things might go back 

To the way they used to be when it was only you and he

Of course he is worth it

Because you are not stupid 

My Darling Dear you are not

And you know exactly what is going on 

And you know exactly how bad it looks

And you know exactly how much they will all talk

Behind your back like the cowards they are 

And you are so very, very brave 

And you still love him even more than that

So when you say he is worth it 

Worth it all to you

I'll respect your decisions and know you're an adult

And you know better than anyone else

What is good and worth it to you

Especially much better then they do

So of course he is worth it

As long as you say so 

Until you stop saying so 

My Darling Friend

My Dear

Responsibility

Responsibility 

It's a part of me 

Engrained 

Injected

Enforced 

And Inscribed on my psyche 

These languid thoughts 

Of running or living 

Of flying and freeing

They are just thoughts 

Nothing more

They could never be more

Even though their active counterparts

Their reality is standing 

Just outside the door and I can feel it

The pulsating heartbeat of possibility

I could do what I said I would do

I could leave it all and pack up and go 

I could

But I won't

And you know that I won't 

Because these are the words 

Nothing but words

That give me the room

To just manage a breath 

In the raging mealstrome

Or more accurately 

A break from the rowing

The unending rowing 

In these eternal doldrums

A prayer for a breath

Just a gasp of wind

Let the sails fill for a second

Let there be movement and strength

But I cannot live there

I am too responsible 

To throw down my paddles

And let the sea carry them 

But the madness of these latitudes 

Is becoming kind of old 

And my pathetic platitudes 

Won't save our souls