The Gift of a Book

Honestly
Its like I'm dating a younger version of you
And she's got all your same insecurities and short comings
Except she's not tempered by the experience of your failures
Yet
And its driving me batshit crazy
Because all that will happen is she will be like you
And we will have children and they'll be like me
Making all the same decisions
And mistakes
We'll keep making the same mistakes over again
We won't learn
We won't grow
It's all been done before
And there's a certain sick form of comfort in that
That says if I stay on this path, with her
That I will at least know where we end up
And that that ending is not so bad
Except it's not the ending I want
It will not satisfy me
And I will not become like my dad
Famous last words
I know
Oh well
Time will only tell
In the meantime I'm thinking of giving her the books
The ones that helped you in your old age
When all your children were already grown
And you had made all your mistakes on me
I'm thinking of giving her your books
In the hope that she will accept them and truly read
And maybe we can avert this catastrophe
Because I am not repeating the refrain
Either we will loose all we must loose
Or else there will be nothing gained