Spinning Opals

I come as I am
But not as I would wish to be
I have in my hands
These stones of hard gravity
And I cant's stand
That I know they do not measure up
And I try not to think
That maybe its time and I should just give up
Because my words
My art and all these splatters on the page
Are cold and dark
Hard and callouse without form or spark
And I know
That they do not compare to your gems
And I think
They may be nothing more than frozen tears
Not deeply dug
And cut to show facets of light and dark
Not polish over
To gleam and be held aloft as fine art
These frozen tears
They cannot bear the weight of eyes
These hard stones
Have no truth, will crumble as lies
So shall I stop
Stop manufacturing these dulcet dreams
Shall I end it
And no more weave the things unseen
Because I have plans
But execution fails my neck again
And maybe its best
If I finally just give up this ghost
But that's not it
The case is made but the mind moves not
My own stubbornness
Says that I have come too far
And so I'll just push on
And slowly transform into Sisyphus
I'll push my loads
And every night give up again
And again
Until death takes these loads of stone
Throw me in the waves
With them tied around my bones
And let me sink
And let the waters of obscurity
Give me rest
And polish smooth these spinning opals