Tuesday, April 23, 2013

A Poem of Me, Or, My Name is Not Dzhokhar

I am the boy
Without a drop of empathy
I've walked a road too hard
And seen too much tragedy
I am the boy
Raised in the place of lack
Saw the horrors we commit
Man to woman, white to black
I am the boy
Uprooted from my family
Transplanted to a new home
Forever feeling so lonely
I am the boy
With one foot here and the other there
Not American, not foreign
Not fitting anywhere
I am the boy
Who feels that no one can know
What its like inside my head
And there's no way for me to show
I am the boy
Strangled by my darkest dreams
Who will keep wearing my smiles
Who is not what I seem
I am the boy
So desperate to feel apart
To feel included and understood
To not live with this broken heart
I am the boy
Who finally found relief
Found the people who understand
Found the ones who share my grief
I am the boy
Directing all my energy
Pouring all into the cause
That finally makes me feel free
I am the boy
Who has made a terrible mistake
Who has placed my trust in someone false
Who has to live with new heartbreak
I am the boy
Who might never understand
Might never see the bigger picture
Always writing it off as some divine plan
I am the boy
Who has earned all of my shame
Who has made the choices to harm others
Who is the only one to blame
I am the boy
Who cannot be held at fault
Who felt like I had no other options
Who didn't take the easy way out
I am the boy
Who just needed to have a friend
Who just needed someone to care
Who could have prevented this bitter end
I am a boy
My name is not Dzhokar
But my story was almost his
Had a kind stranger not stopped me before I fell too far

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