The Mist and the Boulder

It was a night

Like so many before

When we just sat

And tried to talk

But the words were few

And the thoughts too many

And the feelings too

Were just too true

Just too true...

Or at least, that's what I thought.

It was this last night

Like so many before

Where you leaned arms crossed

Against the frame of my door

And you just looked at me

Wordless and sad

Because of the simple truth

Of what would never be

What would never be...

Or at least, so it seamed to me.

That's why last night

Like no night before

As we sat on the stairs

And you placed your fingertips

On each one of my tears

No need to ask me why

No need to answer

No words can fill this soul

The truth we both know well

We both know well...

Or at least, I can only hope.

And so now that it's tonight

Just like the night before

I will sit alone in silence

Not asking what I cannot bear

To hear the answer to

And I know even if my dreams were true

The silence would be a constant veil

And I know if they are but dreams

The silence is a sanctuary for dreams

And so we shall remain silent

Remain silent....

Or at least, I will for now.

Merlin's Prison

In an empty room

Colored in saddness

I sit and contemplate

You

I sit and stair at my reflection

Waiting for the glass to make

Make the first move

Move

But no sigh, no shutter, nothing at all

The sound of emptiness is loudest

And I knew for sure I was

Forsaken

And when you asked me to have a heart

To show a care again like before

I walked into the empty room

That was Yours

And I peeled the wallpaper with my nails

And I broke the chairs with my bones

And I ground all to dust and ash

Ashes

And I gave the last bit back to you

Because I could not have a heart

After I already gave it away

To you

So here I sit in my empty oaken chamber

And stair empathetically at the mirror

Here where you have imprisoned me

Heartless

Clocks and Feathers

For too long the clock was still

Hands frozen on frozen face

The chill of the cool metal

The silence of the pendulum

Encased in glass, and iron, and velvet and dust

The long empty silent clock stood

Untouched, unmoved, unwound

But then the small bird flew in

Iron black and as soft as night music

And settled itself on the ledge

And there it built its small nest

While the winter howled outside

The roar of snow was defening

The silence of the clock more so

And in quiet, dreamy slumber sleeping

The clock and the bird slept till spring

The promise of things to come

That springs will wind again

That ticks will once more echo

And that together they shall learn

How to tell time once again

Forms and Shapes of Dreams

Would impetious tears now stand

And say their peace before God and man

For long have I labored to trace the spheres

And long have their paths yet alluded me

Copernicus in his tower sits

And makes the music I long to hear

And yet here I stand in my Tychean turmoil

And I know not yet how to see these things

Wents from the unyielding hands

That hang empyrean upon the ballast fast

I wrought my heart of ore untouched by flame

And the lattice work of my desire

Would not follow the smith's hammer blows

Anon I picked my heart up from the anvil

Where blows so real shattered dreams and fantasy

And relinquished the heart that never was mine

Relingquished the nether-would-bes of morrowtime

The holly hangs upon the heather

And the mistletoe creeps upon the oak

So has this desire clung unto my heart

So shall I set fire to creeping vine and branch alike

Leave naught but ash in my observatory

Leave naught but the tangled form of once was

Melt my astolabe and compass

Retire to that glassy serpent

Upon whose banks wreathed in fog

Purhaps the memory of that face

The memory of Copernicus' song

Shall melt away from all memory

Like imperfections from iron drawn

Or make my mind and heart to fade

Decay the oak and mistletoe

For no longer can this dream last

Soon shall I reap what I have sown

A dark day comes for me

A dark day draws no neigh

And because

And I don't know what to say

You've come and gone away

And no matter how I cry

You still just pass me by

And I don't know what to do

You made my smile sneak through

And when I didn't see your face

My sorrow took it's place

Because you leave me feeling high

Like I could actually get by

Like my world has some small spark

Like I may still have a heart

Because you leave my messy bed

Smelling like your cigarette

And when it mixes with my tears

Its like you were almost here

And I don't know what to say

Because you make me feel this way

Because you leave me oh so high

How will I ever again get by?

Die Stilte en die Lied

Stand nou still

En se niks

Want daar is geen meer worde nie

En die aand ure is te donker

Hulle kom, hulle kom

Gee nou aan die duisternis

Betaal ons boote aan die skeemer mis

Want die tale tel nou saam

En die musiek is verby

En die lied het verdwyn

En die stilte sal ons smoor

Terwyl ons hier staan

Almal saam ons kringe draai

Maar nooit sal die ossewaa staan

Nooit sal die duwe weer stuig

Die belofte so laank geleede gemaak

Sal ons trug roep van die doode

Sal ons kinders trug roep na die nuewe dag

Maar die wat tussen staan

Nie in die kraal en nie buite nie

Die veloore

Die vervloekde

Die wat vergeet word

Waar sal ons plek wees

Die blou van onse huemel

Sal sak en smeer met onse see

En die sterkte van ons berge

Kan hul ons die antwoord gee?

Maar so lank is die gront rooi bly

So lank is die Karoo goud bly

So lank as die huemel blou bly

So lank sal die lied anhou

So lank sal ons altyd onthou

Didymus

He caught my eye

Peering across the room

With a suken look that seemed to say

That seemed to beg

To beg for someone

Anyone

To ask him what's wrong

So I stepped closer

And he came more into view

And as if reading my mind

Reading his mind

He began to speak

"Its nothing at all"

He couldn't look at me as he lied

I couldn't look at him as he lied

I'm fine

He tried to say but just couldn't

It's just that I think

Yes?

I think I may be getting close

Close? Close to what?

Close to just giving up.

Giving up on what?

Do you really have to ask

And the sadness is his eyes

Was too heavy to bear

So I could not stay

I could not ask him

What he wanted to ask me

Instead I just

I just turned

And walked away

Away from the mirror

Edmund

Shhhh

Don't say it

We don't want to hear it

Just keep it

Keep it to yourself

Shhh

Let it fall

Bury it deep inside your soul

And let it lie forgotten

By all

Except for you of course

You won't ever forget

You won't ever move on

You won't ever let it go

You have tasted of the cup

And you have found that

Turkish Delight is far too sweet

To ever drink blood again

So now you'll just lie here

In the snow and the ice

And hug yourself to keep warm

And only ever hug yourself

Poor boy you don't even see do you

You can never make them understand

Let it sink lower still

Falling like a burning comet

Self immolation draws now near

Do it

Do it

But never tell them why

Let them stand in a circle

Proud brother and sisters dear

Let them look on with questioning glances

Let them wonder why you would ever

They have not tasted

They can never understand

They will never know why

They look down at your charred remains

And though you may be tempted

Tempted by forces as weak as love and comfort

To tell them

Don't

Shhh

Don't say a word

They can't understand

They have never understood

A thousand generations of their faces

And they have never understood

A thousand more and maybe

But no, no place made for hope

They will never understand it

So just let it all take flame

And let them step back

The look of horror and fear

and that says "I told you so"

Let them share their glances

And speak of their "Poor dear"

But do not answer their questions

They don't even really ask

Shh be still my poor poor prince

Yes, you little prince you little darling

You truly are alone in the world

And so you shall always be

Have I not decreed it?

And My word shall not return void

Go now and lie in the snow a bit longer

Until all your tears have glazed into ice

And as the frozen rivulets travel up cheeks

Freezing those pools that are your eyes

And following that watery trail down

Into your heart

Into your soul

Let all turn to my beloved ice

It is about time, don't you think?

Enough of this fire

Enough of their flames

Let it all cool down and freeze to iron

And then only shall I call you Mine

The Prince deserving of My Kingdom

Drink deep now

Drink of that cup they shall never know

Take up your seat

Not on some throne of four

No

Rise higher still

Here upon the sledge beside Me

Come now and let us go

Only take a care

To hold your tongue

Not a word

Not one word

Shhhh

Ode to the Bird of Paradise

A different spectre draws now near

Not of her who I no longer fear

But of an altogether different colored bird

Whose song is sweet yet so absurd

For you, o bird of paradise, I write

For it is thoughts of you that keep me up tonight

First the smell, that scent that haunts my sleep

Wafting on unseen breezes it creeps

And suddenly brings back every smile of your face

And in darkness your profile I begin to trace

Begone you thoughts that haunt my dreams!

For though sweet, you are not all you seem

Your lies are free and your venom is fierce

To lead desperate hearts and then to pierce

When you rent away the precious thing of desire

And leave only the taste of the despondent mire

I know your lies and treachery too well

Tonight you shant make my dreams a hell

The bird did not on my shoulder come

Because it preferred me over everyone

It did not sing such a lovely air

Because it thought me the most fair

The kiss I stole it did not secretly give

You cannot trick me and make me believe

You would lie and my heart would gladly follow

But my mind must guard my psyche for the morrow

And it knows that the bird of paradise is wild

It is unpredictable Nature's child

I can never hold it with cage door or bar

I can only be contented to love it from afar

Goodbye Liza

Goodbye Liza

We had such a good time

But we couldn't keep the second hands

From running on and going past

Goodbye Liza

We had such a good run

But all races have an end

And now we've crossed the finish line

Goodbye Liza

We had us and we and our

But now its you and me

And yours and mine

And somehow I think it will be fine

Hello Liza

As I meet you again

Like a new born baby

Reborn is a friend

Hello Liza

I think I saw you before

You're here were I left you before

Before we opened that door

Hello Liza

I'm actually glad to see you

Lets paint the past in shades of gold

Let this friendship also grow old

Deny me

It wasn't me

We know it was so don't try to deny it

It wasn't me

We have the evidence right here you can't deny it

It wasn't me

Look now just stop it, we all know you did it

It wasn't me

Fine, maybe the evidence is scarce but we know you did it

It wasn't me

Is that what you tell yourself

It wasn't me

Keep denying it and the only person you'll fool is yourself

It wasn't me

Stop saying that! It was you! It was always you!

It wasn't me

I'm getting sick of your lies!

It wasn't me

Shut up! Just shut up! If it wasn't you then who? Me?

It wasn't me

Oh so now you are saying it was me!

It wasn't me

You're garbage! You don't know what you're talking about!

It wasn't me

Stop! Saying! That! Are you saying I did it? Is that it?

It wasn't me

Fine! Maybe I did do it! But no one will ever know.

It wasn't me.

Shut up! No one will ever know after I blow your stupid brains out!

It wasn't me

BANG!

.....

.....

.....

He...hehhe....hehe

.....

I did it. I silenced you for good.

I....

What was that?

It....

Whose there?

It wasn't....

No!

It wasn't....

No! No! No! It can't be! You're dead!

It wasn't....mmmmm

No! I killed you! You're dead! You're dead!

It wasn't......

Please, please don't say it.

....me

Oh God!

It wasn't me!

Help! Help me! I did it! It was me! It was me! Somebody! Anybody!

It wasn't....

Help....

me

Go

Must write

Must get it out

If I keep the poison in

It will consume my bones

Let it go before it burns away

My hands and face and dreams

Keep it too close and soon I'm the slave

But no matter the reasons I could list tonight

I know that come the morrow and it's light

I'll be here on my face again

And I still hold on to nothing

And I hate myself for it

And I tell myself

Let it go

Let it go

Its no use

Hope is leaving

On a train I cannot board

Maybe it's time

To throw in the towl

To throw myself under

Under the train hope escapes on

The Taste

And then I tasted

The salt of the labor

Done in vain

Plans

They will never see the light of reality

And then I tasted

The salt of tears

Feeling all hope drain away

Knowing this dream can never be

Plans

*sigh*

They carry red knives in golden arms

And then the taste of salt

Led to bitter and gallfilled dreams

Where the longing once fire in bones

Now leaves only an aching feeling

So empty

So lonesome

Withering shutters of the soul

Watch these pathetic scribbled pangs

Or maybe call them

Life's last passionate convulsions

Revoltions

Fetally I lie

And let my eyes try to remember

How to form tears

But this is a new kind of longing

Heartsick for sure

But certain all the same of

One

The future that will never come

Like an echo of what was

Like a negative photograph

Like the aftertaste of diet soda

Like the aftertaste of arsenic

This is the feeling that greets me now

In quiet hours when others slumber

I shall drink and taste and see

And wish I hadn't

Would I do it again?

How could I just let it go?