Saturday, April 14, 2012

Carol of the Loves

Why are you three here?
Begone from me ghosts
And leave my sleep be
It is a long while still
Until Christmas Eve
Why should you now
Come walk among the living
Why should you now
Come disturb my torpid sleep
You, I see you there
The flicker flame
Reflecting specks of yesterday
I know your poison
All too well
I dare not drink
From that rotten cup
You offer in your hands of rust
I shall not partake
Of your unholy sacrament
Begone from me Yesterday
I know why you have come
To bring to memory
Not your smiles or songs
No, nor your words of love
For your smiles were two edged
and your songs were off key
You spoke not a word
Of love but ever guiltily
So I shall not come to your boney arms
I reject your false memories
For with you I was never happy
No I loved the idea of you
Not you
And these words are meant
To be hard and heavy and sharp
It is the only way to kill a phantom
Yes, you should fear too
Oh glimmering shine
That coats my words
Even as I breathe them
You, O Today, You
I can never escape You
You are evervescent
Ever present
Ever constant
Like the beating drum
You beat inside my skull
And you remind me
Of what I can never have
I feel your thrumbing presence
At all times the beating of your wings
Brushing the air by my head
Barely missing my face
The air around me buzzing
You distort my eyes
And make the air dance
Mirages appear on my left
On my right, and ahead
But I cannot turn
Because even as you
In kindess reach out and touch
You break the wall I have built so long
Of most solid air and promises
My resolve to keep you out
Today I cannot let you distract me
You are too mezmerizing
I know I can never keep you
You always slip away
The second I turn to chase you
I have given up on you
As I gave up on my Yesterday
But please don't make me kill you too
Leave me phantom
And I shall always keep
Your name upon my door
You should remain as you are
And my friend
But even as you begin to slide away
I find myself reaching for you again
Trying desperately not to care
Oh come back my Today
Come back and leave me not alone
With her
Oh no
The music has now stopped again and I do not know what I shall do for this new phantom is more real than the rest for even in trepidation formed her steps are deeper and plant themselves sure for she is none other than the black caped one who brings the sweetest terror and release and I know she is coming closer with each and every step and while her veil remains fixed I know the eyes that burn through it all too well and my heart cannot stop shaking and breaking my chest for it knows all to well she shall consume it utterly and though my will may cry out to my feet to turn and run and flee this dark day coming I know I cannot flee it and I know my place has been set at this table for it is not the table I shall eat of but the table I shall be eaten upon as a sacrifice for love's indellible appatite and so I shall submit to the glistening teeth and I shall recall the song I heard her first sing when the embers first stoked in the depths of my dispair and life was forged anew to be broken on different shores..... Shall I name you now? And shall you know the power you already whield? Shall I tear the veil and call you out?
There I have whispered your name
And the depths of the deep places of the world
Echo and rebound and break apart
For they know at your coming
All of them shall be made to burn with light
And the fire I alone have seen in your smile
Shall I endure Yesterday and Today
These scouraging phantoms
The bane of my sleep
In order that I may
Before morning's pale kiss
See your face
Even in shadow's graced
For a few passing moments
Caught on swallow's wings
Shall I see your own unfold
Your raven rainment detatched
And the form once more
Of Tomorrow's shaping
Shall I bear all these others
So I may see your smile
But know that sending them away
I send you away as well
Tomorrow will you ever be out of my grasp
Tomorrow, how much longer till dawn comes again
Tomorrow how much longer
Till I see your rising face
I can only hope
That some phantoms
Are not truly phantoms at all
I can only hope
Until Christmas Day comes

No comments:

Post a Comment