Eau d'Voux

It haunts my dreams

The scent I found

As I drew near you

It wafted and perfumed the air

Like Cleopatra's barge upon the Nile

I smelled the summer sun

Concentrated through years

Like the barley and wheat

When the wind blows through the ears

Ruffling wonton like a woodland nymph

Basking her golden skin in the sun

The scent of the reapers whose sickle sharp

Their song rising above the late summer sky

The golden ears of corn gather

Winnow and thrash till all remains

The perfect kernel of summer gold

Concentrated sunlight and with the scent

Of the woodland dances of midsummer eve

When bonfires large as columns for the sky

Lit the faces of young lovers and friends

Neath a star studded night

When the korn was baked into fresh bread

When the wine was new and the dance free

When ivy wound about fair youths heads

And the sound of singing filled the night

As warm breezes ruffled the trees

To pull the first of the yellowed leaves off

That is the scent I found on your skin

The scent of summer's last day

Filled with the joy and quiet contentment

Of days spent reaping the rich fruits

And drinking deep of Ganymede's cup

Were I to take eagle form

And disturb the cup and bearer

Who alone has this aroma about them

Living incense to drive me mad

Or remain unseen above

My eagle pinions ruffled by rough winds

To look only down at the distant figure

That Cleopatra, that Ganymede

I shall remain aloft

And not disturb the sleeping Endymion

Save to draw near and drink of the cup

While the sleeper dost sleep

But ere Dawn rises again I alight

And not disturb the Day with the Moon's presence

And then you had to Come

I thought that I knew what I was talking about

And then you had to come

And I thought I knew what I was doing about

These thoughts and feelings inside

And then you had to come

I thought that maybe the inevitable could be avoided

That, I don't know, maybe things would change

Or that maybe knowing would make it easier

And then you had to come

And even though no matter which trail

I follow the ends are none of them good

Even the best, the very best end

Will never be the happily ever after

And then you had to come

I thought I understood the star cross'd lovers

Till now

Now I know that they had it easy

Things in the real world get much too complicated

And I feel like I'm rambling again...

And then you had to come

But I know that day is coming

The darkest day for me

The brightest day for you

and because it is a bright day for you

It shall be both dark and bright for me

And because it is dark for me

I know it shall be bright and dark for you too

Because words never spoke

But spoken through a thousand acts

Can leave no doubt about where the piece stand

And what the final move must be

Has always must be

And then you had to come

Fate had a firmer grip on you it seems

Or maybe her hand on me

Has pushed you where I can never trod

This is not love scorned or unreturned

This is love returned even more full

Yet the deck is set against both players

And in the end Lady Luck is a cruel mistress

To throw two dice together in her bowl

Only to scattered them across the playing board

So far removed

And then you had to come

And I realized just what I wanted

And could never let myself have

For your sake

For my sake

Certain roads that beckon and call

Shall never be answered

Some adventures we will forgo

This all I had perfectly decided on

And then you had to come

And again each time I made up my mind

To set myself far apart

To resist your smiles and slurred speech

Each time firmer in my determination still

And then you had to come

And break harder your waves upon the dam

And break my will asunder again

And again

and again

Till once more I tasted the turkish delight

And knew the fruit and the tree it came from

And the taste of mortality on my lips

And then you had to come

And make me want after your poison yet again...

Lethe's Flight (Unfinished)

How strange are these

children of the tears

that poor Lethe shed

Ere she fled from that lord

So noble of birth

And whose kingdom vast

Encompasses the earth

And whose dark form

All mortals turn to in time

When my lord Aides did

In the summer of her youth

Pursue that fair nymph

Through subterranean ways

Where cthonic streams

Gurgled from the mirk

And seeped across landscapes

Never yet blessed by the sun

Nor moon, or twinkling star's faint light

Where Night and Day have no rule

But all is shadows and shade

And the dominion of the lord

Of the darkest realms

When Lethe, still in her youth,

Did seek refuge from his unsought suit

She called in voice of supplicant tone

To her father great Okeanous of old

That Great Circumference of the world

And raising prayers and her tears

She cried to him and said, "My Father,

Great Circumference of the world

Shall the immortals now look upon you with shame

And say your power has diminished since those days

When first you bound Gaia in her place

She whom all the immortals spring from

Shall the acorn now say it is mightier than the oak

So rise up now and stir from your sleep

Lest your daughter's tears go unheard

And the immortal gods who dwell on Olympos

Say no more strength dwells in your arms

To save even her you once called dearest to you!"

And whilst the nymph praying her father so

Was yet in the field of the boulders

That barren wasteland that lies twixt

The realms of fiery Tartarus to the south

And the shadow regions from wence rise

The seeping Styx, that curs'd river

Upon which even Zeus does swear

And where even vampyric furries

Fear to fly when by them selves

And so running she in that bouldered land

Heard the young lord in high chase behind

His victory near, his prize in hand

That her father turned his aged head

And heard the pleas of the simple nymph

And rose a might wall in that plain

Twixt his daughter and the lord

who commands Cerberus the dog of three

Lean Not On Your Own Understanding

I walk this path in darkest night

Along the desert of my soul

And I come once more to the place

Where the bodies lay in the sand

Severed in half

A sacred promise

Your torches passed here

Your words echoed on the breeze

and I was foolish enough to believe them

You made a promise

You said things would be different

Your torches passed between them

Half dead corpses on both sides

Oxen, sheep, doves who never did wrong

You or me

They were killed

Their blood spilled because....

You said this would be different

You said we would be together

Forever

And I believed

You said that these things took time

You said that no one would come between us

You said that all I had to do was trust

Trust You

And I believed the promise

I wept for the promise

I waited for the promise

I waited

But yet

You never came

I sat by myself

Under this sycamore tree

I climbed its branches

Till I reached the stars

And plucking them from the firmament

The wall that was built

You built between us

I threw the stars of heaven to the earth

To reach the place

The place I heard I could find

You

But heaven was an empty sepulcher

And I couldn't understand why

I must have misunderstood somehow

How could I have been so foolish to believe

That if I were to climb to the highest heavens

I would find

You

And I blamed myself

I said it must have been me

I crept down from the sycamore tree

Under the cold eyes of scornful angels

Who reminded me I did not belong

Belong with

You

So I crept along the tree

Till I came to the dust

Back to the dust

To the ashes to ashes

To where my home was

And I lay in the dust

And when my friends came to me

I told them to depart

For I had not seen the foundations of the earth

And I could not hook Leviathan

And I was but dust

and ashes spent

So I took to the flames

And buried myself in the breath of life

And a pyre was above me

And the gold of the idols

Dripped between the stones

And the drops of molten gold seared

As they dropped down and coated my skin

Till I was a golden man

And idol in the images of men in the images of gods

In the image of G-d

And I sat in the flames as a god

And I wept in the flames as only a god may weep

And I knew my place was here in Sheol

And I hoped that I could find in between gnashing teeth

You

But lo, I was still alone

And anger consumed my soul

I had waited for You

I had wept for You

I had believed You

And I errupted from beneath the earth

As the sun

And burned with fiercest harshest light

And I screamed at the morning

The morning that was me

And I hated the dawn

I hate you Dawn!

My anger was kindled

And the fingers of hatred brushed my soul

With an icy shutter as pale as snow

And I fell away from the earth

Until I floated listlessly

Listless in the hyperborean sea

The wings of the dawn were dying

And the uttermost was all I had

And even there in the end of days

When I had forsaken all others

When I had followed You

Still You hid from me

As if this was some sort of game

As if my love for You was some game

I shed this godly form

And returned my golden heart for one of flesh

And life flooded my veins

Along with the bitterest of dread

I sat upon the edge of the world

My feet dangling into space

And stars spun around them

Following the currents of the wind

And that was when

Then of all times and in all space

That You came to me

Grew a tree to give me shade

And returned all my sons and daughters to me doubled

As if that somehow replaced the ones You took away

And as the final note of the last trump died off key

Then You chose to ride in on Your white horse

And looked at me with that perplexed look in Your eyes

That just couldn't seem to understand why

Why I was angry

Why I was hurt

Why I no longer would take You at Your Word

Look back at Rachel weeping for her children

Look back at the burning cities

And see the Salt of Compassion

The ever present pillar that is the ever present witness

To what You have done

And all of this, My Love

Why?

Because You weren't sure of my heart?

Testing me to see if I would give my all

You knew this from the very start

Why bring a ram and rooster into it at all?

So where does that leave us?

You and I?

I sit here watching the cosmos roll by

You stand there watching me waiting for a response

Soon my time will draw near

And then what sight will we see?

Can You love me and watch me suffer like this for ever?

Can You love me and extinguish the smoldering wick?

Can You love me and hide Your face when I need You?

Did You ever love me at all?

Hated Decisions

Each day I hate you less

Just a little little less

And I seem to find the space

To start breathing once again

When I hear the songs once ours

When a memory once sweet

Threatened to overwhelm

Now less strength carries it

But your love has been a poison

And I drank deeply every day

Until it burned away my marrow

And ashen was my soul

Your love was an addiction

An addiction for myself

I loved loving and loving you

Being loved was falsest health

For under the guise of smiles and poesy

Under the light of fireworks and the moon

Your love was a vine wrapping around me

Boa constrictor to my art and my muse

But your poisoned arrow

Was doubly tipped

For not only was my art affected

But then also did your bitter taste strike

And extinguished my trust's light

And now when I feel another heart beating

When I look at her standing close by my side

When I see another whose love is worth keeping

The barb in my chest reminds me by tide

That once I placed my trust in a girl

Once I made her my entire world

Once I loved her with all of my being

And she tore it and broke it and spat on my dreams

And so the raven comes to my heart

And speaks to my logic, my hurt, and my art

And reminds me the vow the broken must keep

Nevermore nevermore until I sleep

Love is not near nough with Lethe in kind

To make me forget the poison of your kind