Looking back

I stand here in an empty room
Full of memories in the air I breathe
The smokey mirages of the past worlds
Each shattered by a different brick of reality
That I then lay at my feet
And pour the blood from my dreams
And mixed it with the ashes and dust
(to dust, to dust)
Making mortar for the base
Brick by brick I build each day
Not a wall to keep others away
Not a bunker to hide from the world
But a tower, rising higher and high
To stand and look with firm perspective
From the top of my tower
Built on bones of reality
Hard won gems in struggles with dreams,
Those poisoned fumes that would sufficate my heart
With a longing for the "Other"
And each brick has a name
And breaks my heart when I call to them
My dear dear dearest friends
How it pains me that I build on you
When dreams of futures with you
Broke so painfully, so real
Paths that split, purhaps forever
Choices we made and now look where we are
One, you walk away from me
As I call and call you keep your pace
And so another brick is won
Two, you sit and draw in the sand
As the wind comes and blows it away
Day by day by day by day
No matter my please, day by day by day
Brick fall in place right here, right here
So many more and they rain from the sky
The bricks of their choices, their paths
Their lives
And I just can't stop them, I can't do a thing
But stand in this empty room
And keep building heaven-ward
Hoping to break past the banal ceiling
And step past the bricks
And the fumeous dreams
And off the tower
Made with my bones
And never see a brick again
Never look back
Again