Coffee Tumbler

Coffee tumbler
Tall and narrow
You look beyond
The round lip of your edge
And see the world from a perspective
Higher than most, you think
As lips pay homage to you
Daily
But they drink from your soul
And feast upon your thoughts
Until you remain used and empty
No longer full of life
But you are no paper cup
You were not made to be discarded
After merely a single use
No
You are a tumbler made
To be refilled day after day
Strong edges define you
They keep you safe and warm
You are made specially
To keep this life inside
Warm and lasting and full of life
To daily be filled
And daily pour out
To withstand the day
And see the glorious night
You were made for cold mornings
When all else is frost
You were made for cool evenings
For those who keep the stars
You were made to last through everything
To endure, to be strong
You are the coffee tumbler
You shall overcome

To her That Claims To Love Me

A poem I wrote a while back, found it today. Its funny, though it talks about love, its more about self awareness than anything else. Also, its one of the most open, transparent poems about myself I have ever written. Because real self awareness begins with honesty. And the hardest part of being honest with myself is to look at this and realize how much of it hasn't changed since I wrote it...

To Her That Claims to Love Me

How can I make you understand
You say that you want this
That you want to be with me
But its not what it seems
I am no mystery
If I were a more open book
And you could read through my pages
What would you do
Would you still love me dearly?
I don’t think so
My moods are unstable
Up and down
I’m a rollercoaster
Depression, the monster
Ever haunts my steps
Though I admit
I often try to fight it
There are some days I wake up
And I just give in
Do you really want that?
Forever?
I’m insecure about myself
My voice is too high
My stomach too round
My cheeks too big
At least they are to me
There was even a time
Not so very long ago
That I hated waking up
And being me
Now I’ve come a long way
But there’s much longer to go
Do you really want to go?
Take this journey with me?
I’m insecure about love
And those who love me
Sure blame it on my past
But that won’t help anyone
I can cling too much
Demand too much
And though I try to stop
I cry too much too
Do you really want to deal
With all of these things?
Is your love strong enough
To weather the real me?
My self esteem sucks
As you have probably already seen
My work feels pathetic
My words feel unclean
When compared to the rest
Of these voices in the world
Why would anyone care
What mine has to say?
Could you really bare it
To live with this day after day?
The list goes on
And on
And on
And on and on
When I get weary and sleep deprived
My tongue becomes sharpened iron
Cutting all those around me
Especially my loved ones
How thick is your armor?
If I never overcomes this?
How strong is your love
Could it endure this?
No father to trace
No figure to look to
How can I ever be one
Without an example
My greatest fear
Gnawing endlessly
Would you have enough patience
To stay with me?
I will not hide it
I will not deceive
This is the real me
Now think truly
Do you want to shackle yourself
Anchor yourself
Weigh yourself down
With me?
Is your love strong enough
To withstand all the trials
That I must work through
What God’s doing in my life
I’m so far from perfect
I’m not worthy of your love
Take a good look at the real me
And decide

A Thought for You

You deserve so much better
Then a heart thats ruled by the rain
Leave this worn umbrella at the door
And walk out into the sunshine
Loving a poet is the greatest romance
Living with one is the riskiest chance

Deadly Sin of Gluttony

Today your sin was gluttony
You consumed my every thought
My mind-trails could not run
And they all unraveled at your door

But that was not enough for you
You also devoured my reason
Picked your teeth with my excuses
And muddied these already milky waters

And then with reason gone
You tasted even of my heart
And turned my turncoat emotions upon me
The forbidden fruit still tempts Eve

Now, even now, I feel your reach
Deep within me, stretching further still
Carnivorously grasping at my frazzled will
Bending it between your iron jaws

Today your sin is gluttony
You are utterly consuming me
But when done will this be real,
Or will you move on to your next meal?

Should I Be One To Remind You Of Love?

This is the result of an internal conversation I have recently had with myself, in which I have begun thinking about the various aspects of my life and wondering about next steps. Being me, it obviously turned to the issue of love. And within me there is a part that really wants to capture love, as soon as I find it, and never let it go. To keep it and protect it and treasure it forever. But this is my knee jerk reaction to finding affection. And I never trust knee jerk reactions. So I further contemplated this feeling that I needed to "act on love before I loose it" and this was the result.

Should I Be One To Remind You Of Love?

Shall I remind you
As I have so many times before
That Love is not a feeling
Or what makes us step beyond this door
But that it is something
Much more ancient and powerful
Misused by many and understood by less
Love is panoramically blind
And so the lover blinds all around
And does not see what lies beyond the corners
Unless he or she opens their eyes
And see the truth for the lies

Shall I remind you that Love
Love is the freeing slavemaster
How many marks has Love not given you
Or was it truly love
Or your own hand that made those scars
Your own steps that brought those mars
Who will ever truly know…
Purhaps Love’s nature is perilous
Should that journey then be taken lightly?
Otherwise, if Love be truly gentle and kind
It is our own foolishness that brings Love’s demise
But then again, if our nature changes Love’s
Should Love be undertaken without some thought to ourselves?
Either way that this road may run
Love should not be taken in haste by anyone

And what of the threats that fall on blind ears
That Love unrequited shall too soon wither
But is that Love’s nature?
Is it fragile glass?
That is not truly Love
I hate to quote the ancient words to you
For I know that you know the deep magic well
But remember then, Love
Love is patient
Love suffers long, and is still kind
Love does not seek its own ways
Love keeps no record of wrongs
Love believes all
Love hopes all
Love ENDURES all
Love will conquer all
If this be truly Love
It shall stand the test of time

So, what do you guys think of my conclusion? This is in no way, shape, or form, my final decision on this matter. It is more accurately my current decision. But I would like feedback, as it helps me to think more about life, love, and the universe. ;)